I've been living in my new apartment since June and have settled in quite nicely. This is my first time living alone and for the most part- - I dig it! Now don't get me wrong, occasionally a weird noise or the "domestic disputes" that go on 3 doors down (don't worry, I think its the man who is getting the abuse) sometimes scare me a bit, but for the most part I do not feel like my life has been in any danger- until Sunday night.
Sunday evening, Huck and I decided to go on a stroll around the apartment. The night felt great and Hucky was friskier than ever, peeing on every tree, bush and lamp post he could hike his leg to. As we turned a corner in the side walk, I notice a huge (18lbs??) Persian cat sitting on the side walk--Huck saw it too. Now Huck being the tough guy that he is starting sprinting towards the cat ready to attack only to get clothes lined by his leash. I start dragging my unwilling dog in the other directions of the cat to avoid frightening the cat and protecting my dog.
Then my life flashed before my eyes-in a backwards glance toward the vicinity of the cat's location, I saw this gigantic cat running in full force towards Huck and me. That's when I panicked. I scooped Huck up in my arms (who had finally quit barking once he saw that we were in eminent danger) and start sprinting from the cat. While I was running as quickly as I could, I looked over my shoulder and knew that the huge hissing cat behind me was extremely quick and approaching us at a rapid speed. I have to admit I did scream "help me" as I ran from the cat- - this actually was only a disadvantage to me because I drew out an Indian Gentleman from the laundry room outside to witness the entire event.
When the cat was about 10 ft away from Huck and I, I had to think quick-I hurled mine and huck's body over the railing of a stranger's balcony only to catch my flip flop on the railing and scrape up my knuckle in attempt to catch my fall. Needless to say the cat stopped chasing us and slowly walked past the porch where we made our escape. I sure that cat got great pleasure in scaring the crap out of Huck and me.
I was telling Mark that night over the phone the story of the "cat attack" when he simply replied "why did you turn and run from that cat when you are so much bigger than it is?" Then he said, "You should have just drop-kicked that cat across the parking lot".
After thinking about it I realized, that was so true. Why should I turn and run away from something so much smaller than me. I love how simple events can open your eyes to bigger things in life that need to be addressed. I ran from the cat, scared out of my mind and yet I could conquer that cat. I could scissor kick that cat in the back of the head into next week if I had to. So why did I run?
Since the divorce, I have found that I sometimes have the attitude of "life is too hard and I can't do it". I sometimes just want to run away because I can't face the situations around me. But I have to remind myself that I am a child of God and I have Jesus on my side. That I don't have to run away because even if I can't handle the situation on my own, God can.
I'm kind of like Huck in the cat attack. Huck was the one that instigated the problem. He is the one who initially ran towards and barked at the cat-but I had the lease and stopped him before he got too close in order to protect him. I reeled Huck back to my side by pulling harder and harder at the lease but even though Huck was back at my side-the damage was done. Huck had ticked that cat off and now there were repercussions to his actions. So the cat starts sprinting towards Huck and even though the cat was much bigger than Huck and he would be too weak to defeat the cat on his own-I was there beside him. I scooped him up in my arms and protected him. I ran for him when he couldn't run for himself.
It's amazing how the Lord has done that for me. I was a huge contributor in the trials I am facing in life right now. I brought a lot of hurt and pain on myself through being sinful and running too far away from God. But he had his leash on me and promised never to leave me and he has made good on his promise and slowly but surely reeled me back to his side. But just because I am once again standing beside the Lord, doesn't mean the damage is undone and that the "cat" wont still come running to attack. It's still there and there are still consequences to my bark. So the "cat" or difficulties in my life, come running full force towards me and although I am frozen and about to pee my pants (if you don't know my dog, he pees when he is happy, sad, scared, not scared, sitting,playing, standing, sleeping etc.) God who is much bigger and stronger than me AND my problems, scoops me up in his arms and carries me to safety.
I am so thankful and in awe that I have a savior who cares enough for me to protect me and save me from the sin I caused and from the mistakes I made. Jesus didn't make me "bark at the cat" or do the things I've done. But regardless he threw me over a balcony and took the blow (yes, my blow was only a scraped knuckle) for me.