Monday, January 12, 2009

When does the Hurt finally go away?

I feel like I had the wind knocked out of me this morning and I'm still struggling to get a full breath. So many times you hear the expression of a "broken heart". It's amazing to me that when you are heartbroken, you can actually feel, physically, your heart hurting. It is like this dull, constant, ache in your chest that travels throughout your entire body....but it starts right there in your heart, in your chest...at least for me anyways. That's where I can feel it today.

One of my themed sayings lately is "Life is just hard". So matter of fact....but today I feel like "Life is just too hard". It's these types of days when you feel like you have made huge strides in your life. Like your three steps forward but it take only one day like today and WHAM....you are five steps back. Once again feeling the same broken emotions you felt months ago. Suffering from the same hurt you thought you had "healed" from. But here I am...eyes swollen, heart heavy and on my knees...praying for the healing I thought I had already recovered from.

I guess this was God's way of making sure I didn't get too big for my britches. Letting me know that I am NOT fully healed and that I do still have a long ways to go. I am thankful for a God who sees my tears, knows my heart and will heal me when I am ready.

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