Friday, February 6, 2009

My Confessions

Forgive me friends, for I have sinned. Well, these may or may not be actual sins, but social sins none the less. We all have our little "quirks" or everyday secrets that make us quietly think "I hope nobody saw that" or "I would die if someone knew I did that". The catholics have one up on us Baptist with this Confession thing they have going on. You air out your dirty little secrets, put it out in the open...no matter how ugly it may seem, in order to have a sense of peace. WEll....this isn't going to give me a sense of tranquility, but heck...it might make you laugh. Enjoy!

I confess:

  • I toss the dryer lint behind the machine out of sight, instead of walking a few steps to throw it away in the trash.
  • I usually dont change my jeans after my dog has peed on the pant leg.
  • I buy at least one tabloid magazine a week
  • I'll go weeks at a time using shampoo for soap, or condition for shaving cream or bubble bath for shampoo etc. etc if I run out of something.
  • I own and have worn Spanx
  • I have terribly stinky feet
  • If I go into a restroom and see someone I know come out of a stall, I go into that one a.) because I would rather share butt-cheek germs with someone I know rather than a stranger and b.) I think its funny if someone's gone "big potty" to embarass them a little because they now know that I know what just went on in there.
  • I am in no way, shape or form an enviromentalist, but I'm such a trend follower that in some groups I pretend like I care about hybrids or recyling, yada yada blah blah....
  • You know those people you see in Wal-mart at 2 in the morning? Some of those folks are probably a part of my extended family.
  • I still believe that one day I might be famous
  • Once or twice I have washed the entire outside of my car using the little squeegie attached to the gas pump.
  • I still have a hard time staying awake for the entire church service and I still doodle little hearts and flowers on the bulletin.
  • Popping zits is one of my favorite nightly routines.
  • If the food doesn't come from a freezer bag, a can or a box...I probably wont be cooking it.
  • I have a tendency to be critical...something I really need to work on.
  • I dont really mind watching football, but I profess to hating it that way I don't have to watch every single game that comes on and when I do watch it my man appriciates my "sacrifice". (Sorry babe!)
  • I know this is weird, but I kind of believe that the moon has some weird connection with womanhood and the best cure for cramps is standing in moonlight. (I'm a weirdo).
  • I haven't had my teeth cleaned by a dentist in 3 years.

Well that's enough for now. What's your confession?

2 comments:

Terri said...

Seriously, you are HILARIOUS!!! I am THE WORST culprit at #1!!! I am SOOO lazy!! MISS YOU! Hope you are going to be in town the first weekend of May...:)

Lambards said...

Putting the lint behind the dryer is so dangerous! You are going to start a fire young lady!!!