Dating a father (no, no...not MY father, just A father) has lead me into situations that are usually in the forbidden territory with the big No Trespassing signed hammered into the dirt with the words "Moms ONLY". Well, I'm not M & J's mom; will never be and don't want to be but, I do try to be a good substitute. Someone they can come to when their own mommy (who does a fantastic job) isn't at arms length. I've definitely had some hits and some misses.
Good Substitute Mommy:
Julia comes home from a slumber party with a warning from the mother that the party was infected with lice. I swoop in to save the day by carefully examining each and every inch of that precious little girls head, all the while masking my sudden panic attack derived from my own insanely itchy head. Although, I found nothing, I advised the family we should take the necessary precautions and wash Julia's head with RIC and launder all pillows, clothing, teddy bears etc. that could have been contaminated at the danger zone (a.k.a. the slumber party). I get a "I couldn't have done it without you" look from my man.
Bad Substitute Mommy:
Teaching the kids rhymes and chants deemed "inappropriate" by their father. For example: "M-O-M-M-Y. You don't know your moms a guy. Yo momma. Yeah. Yeah Yo momma!"
"Boys go to Jupiter to get more Stupider. Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys drink beer to get more queer. Girls drink Pepsi to get more Sexy".
Each new day is a new lesson learned.