Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Swine Flu


I've been blowing off this Swine Flue madness that has been interrupting my very important trashy television viewing for the past few weeks. I mean thanks a lot Swine Flu for making me miss the last 5 minutes of Gossip Girl! The only way I figured this pig puking disease would effect me personally would be the terribly annoying and inconvenient, "We interrupt this news cast to bring you this latest update in the....(da da da) SWINE FLU epidemic". Yeah, yeah, we are all going to die just like when the bird flu was set to destroy us all several years back. My college even had this mass email sent out giving all the students a glorious hope that we would get to miss our finals....even if it meant a deadly epidemic was sweeping across our nation. But to the disapointment of the students, the only thing that came out of that was Louis Vuitton made a killing on the LV face mask all the Chinese people bought to protect themselves. If we end up having to wear mask over here, I plan to bank in on this by creating hot pink mask with feathers. Do I have any buyers??


I don't really fret on things like this, except for the bummer that this probably means no cheap, free drinks, all inclusive trip to the beach this summer. Although, I bet there would be no wait in any of the restaurants, discounted massages and they might have an abudance of bacon from all the dead pigs. Although I haven't been too concerned, I was in a business meeting yesterday with a sneezing, runny nosed pig from Mexico who did not cover his mouth and wasn't carrying anti-bacterial gel in his pocket.....should I be worried?



3 comments:

Andrea & Lance said...

Ok Jen, you are FREAKING hilarious! I read this to the girls at work. You have fans!

JPO said...

Thanks Andrea--I think you and your work friends should get Winnie the Pooh scrubs like the woman in the picture.

Grimes Life said...

HAAAAAA You are cracking me up about this Swine boo boo! It really is crazy, but now I have to think about everywhere i take Cade and if I am exposing the poor kid to this virus that cannot be treated to him if he was to catch it. Oh my! But really I think you should consider posting everyday, you are such the entertainer in your words! LOVE YOU!