Friday, May 15, 2009

The Jesus Fish

Well, I just finished up yet another Defensive Driving course I had to take for a speeding ticket. Just a piece of the video....I nearly failed the course and was send it in the night before it was due to the court. The Queen of Procrastination still lives up to her title. No applause please!

Back in the day, I never got tickets. It was part of my legacy. Nearly crashing head first into a cop car due to going the wrong direction in a U-turn lane couldn't stop my mojo from getting out of a ticket. But in the last several years, this has changed. I have received three tickets. Boy, the effects that has on ones self-esteem. Have I lost my touch? Do cops not think I'm hot anymore? Was my peak in life really my Senior year of high school?? Are my boobs shrinking?

I have chalked all these reasons up to be the demise of my ticket free streak. But the other day it hit me. There has been a change that co insides with my sudden progression in tickets....... THE JESUS FISH. How could I be so stupid?? I, Jennifer Porter, sister of a pastor, no longer rock the Jesus Fish on my car. I mean, think about it....when a cop pulls over someone with the Fish on their car, it's basically giving a speeding ticket to Jesus....and who would be stupid enough to do that?

The only problem with having the Jesus Fish on your car is you have to remember to ACT like a Christian when you are driving. I think driving is probably for me one of the hardest places to act like a Christian because the drivers freakin piss me the hell off!!! I actually believe that people with Jesus fish on their cars are usually worse drivers. It never fails that the sky blue mini van that just cut you off, honked their horn and flipped you the bird, is probably going to have a Jesus Fish on the back of the car.....and an old faded George W. Bush for President bumper sticker.

Never the less, I'm going to test my hypothesis....I will be getting a new Jesus Fish to put on my car. Jesus and I are going to show those cops who's boss!

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