Friday, October 9, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Why I Deserve a Nobel Peace Prize

I am so excited that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. "GASP! OH THE HORROR! I thought she was a Christian??? Didn't Jesus tell all Christians to hate Obama before he ascended to Heaven on the third day?"

Well, if you must know the reason behind my puzzling excitement, it is for no other reason than now I, Jennifer Porter (once Robinson and once Porter-Robinson, but now just back to Porter), have a shot a being a Nobel Peace Prize Winner. I believe Obama and I are comparable to our contributions to World Peace and actually have a lot more in common that I thought (see below).

Is there like a drawing you can put your name in? Or a Survey on Why you think you deserve the prize? Well, if there was...below is my David Letterman Style, "Top Seven Reasons Why Jennifer Porter Deserves a Nobel Peace Prize". So what that I'm not great enough to have a top ten....obviously you don't have to be THAT great..

7.)In traffic during the morning commute, I didn't jump out of my car and punch the idiot in front of me for cutting me off.
6.) I too,allow the Olympics to distract me from more important issues. There's nothing more fascinating that black men beating the white guys in every event expect Gymnastics and Swimming.
5.) Obama may have street "cred" and the ability relate to all but so do I. I'm like a mullet-business in the front; party in the back.
4.)I would say off-the record (or on for that matter) that Kanye West is a idiot.
3.) I may not show it, but deep down...I'm a narcissist.
2.) My dog is from a puppy mill but it's justified because it was a gift.
1.) Sure I'll save the environment as long as the recycle bin is no further from the trash's all about convenience. And if I had my own plane, I would totally use a years work of gas for a night at the theater (drill baby, drill!)

I'm not too sure how I contributed to World Peace from our similarities above except that I, too stand by my moral belief in saving the lives of the innocent. defending the weak and honoring our brave....oh, wait that's not something Obama and I have in common.


WO said...

Go Jen Go!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is one of the most ignorant things I have ever read. The only thing you prove with this post is the fact that you are entirely uneducated and uninformed regarding today's political environment. Do you take the time to read anything that doesn't involve a frivolous celebrity scandal or a fashion trend? You obviously don't know the real reason why Obama received the prize. How about considering the fact that the nominations for the prize came from international votes? Obama did not expect to be nominated, much less win the prize. He was very humble in accepting it and he admitted that he has not done as much work to deserve the award as he would have liked. However, in voting Obama into office, America has boosted its international affairs tremendously and led us toward a much brighter future than we would have seen with another ignorant administration. You may have grown up with the notion that you are entitled to much more than you deserve, but the rest of the world doesn't live the way people like you do. They also don't think the way people like you do, which is a big reason why the many parts of the world (with the exception of the third world, of course) are INFINITELY more educated, aware, and respectful of their country and its political climate. Let me clarify; when I say "people like you" I am referring to people who regurgitate ignorant views that they either heard someone else briefly mention, or that they read from a heavily conservative chain e-mail during their lunch break; between pointless Facebook updates of course. I am referring to people who are so blind to the way our political system works and what our administration is actually fighting for. I am referring to people who refuse to have an educated and INDEPENDENT political opinion. Do you think you're cool when you spout out conservative arguments with no actual evidence to back it up? Does it make you closer to Jesus? Grow up. You should be proud that your nation's president received such an honorable international mention. Whether or not you are a conservative or a liberal or a republican or a democrat, you are STILL an American. It is perfectly okay to question and show concern for your government, that's what makes a democracy work, but to blindly criticize something you know nothing about just reinforces the notion that Americans are whiney, self-entitled, ignorant people. Oh, and as a blonde myself, I thank you for reinforcing the stereotype that we are a bunch of idiots.

Now, at this point I know you're thinking, "this bitch doesn't even have the guts to show her face." I post anonymously for a good reason. Yes, I know you and you know me. We aren't friends, and I don't really care if you "wanted my opinion". I have strong opinions; strong opinions that I can justify and that I have gained from education. Our generation is in desperate need of an eye-opening. This will probably piss you off more than it will actually make you want to change, and I'm fine with that. But if even if I make you, just ONCE, pick up a New York Times or visit for a few minutes, I feel I have succeeded. If not, then at least I have forced you to stick up for yourself in some way or another which you'll probably have to start doing if you continue to go through life with a blindfold on. Have a good day.

Alistair said...

Dear Jen,
Found your blog bay accident and have read a couple of posts.

Sorry to say I agree with Ms anonymous here.

I think you may well be a nice person and well intentioned but you need to take some time and reflect on life and what it truly means. Then you should go and get one......

And as for adopting a child from India. Puh...Leeze
Who do you think you are? Madonna! To take a child away from its culture and tradition is almost always wrong. Maybe sponsoring a kid would salve your conscience a little.


JPO said...


What's CNN?


Your ignorant and fellow blonde aquiantance (did I speel thus rite?) Jennifer

JPO said...


NO I don't think I'm Madonna...I think I'm Angelia Jolie! :)

I hope our differences in opinion doesn't warrent you from discontinuing my blog. Read on and thanks for the comment!

JakePorter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Austin "All Out" Kinghorn said...

Anonymous got stamped DOMINATED by JENNIFER PORTER

Jack said...

Dear Anonymous,

Wow you must feel so big and powerful coming on the internets and telling someone off. Why don't YOU grow up and put YOUR name behind your words.

And please share with us your educational background and what makes you so qualified to have YOUR opinion given any weight.

I'm thinking you are pretty much a loser at life and cannot hold your own in a real world debate so instead you sit at home with the blinds drawn and spout off where no one can challenge you or hurt you.

And lastly, please enlighten us to the "real reason" Obama received the prize. Tell us what all he did in the 11 days after entering office that qualified him for a NPP nomination?

Amber Rawlings said...

i must have missed when it became illegal to post your opinions on your own blog. hmmmm. more power to you jen.

Mark G. said...

I am so curious about the "anonymous" life. What would it be like to be a sniper shooting from afar? Anonymous: I think what you wrote is ‘sniper-esque.’ Why is it that if someone disagrees with Obama they are 'unintelligent'? I liked Bush but will admit he made some significant mistakes. But I never insinuated those that disagreed with him were uneducated or uninformed. Let's review your points: um, well, uh, THERE AREN'T ANY! Other than regurgitating popular (albeit slanted) rhetoric & your bashing of someone, you made no points & didn't offer any rational defense of why Obama was an intelligent choice for the NPP. Are you insinuating that Obama deserves the NPP due to his popularity & Bush back-lash - that Obama, in DOING NOTHING OTHER THAN BEING ELECTED, has somehow had an incredible, overwhelming 'peaceful' impact on our planet? Of course he was humble in accepting it -if someone came up to me and offered me the Heisman trophy for football greatness I too would be like, "uh, gee thanks?!? I don't really feel qualified & I never even played college football, but thanks nonetheless." So we give out NPP based upon 'bright futures' and popularity? Well hot dang - Miley Cyrus has a bright future in front of her, kids all over the world are happy thinking about her, she's incredibly popular, and good looking to boot! She's perfect for the NPP!

Seriously, what Jen said in her overly exaggerated colorful 'to-be-viewed-for-entertainment-only' manner was to simply ask: what has he DONE (note that is what we call a VERB)? Not who is he. Not how is he viewed. Not do people really like him. What has he done for WORLD PEACE?

Let me see: did Obama's 1st month in office (this is when he was nominated) end the war in Iraq? Afghanistan? Did it end the situations in Honduras? Sudan? North Korea? Iran? Has poverty been eradicated in the USA? India? Pacific Rim? Has the AIDS epidemic been cured in Africa? Can I even get a H1N1 (swine flu) shot? Did Miley Cyrus re-open her TWITTER account?

Simply put the world is still a mess and yet through God's grace there is goodness available for all. You remember that FAITH without WORKS is dead? Secular translation: Obama's popularity, ideas, optimism, & "plans" for the future are all dead without ACTION (verb). So spare me your left-wing rhetoric. Your true colors came out: Jen attacked Obama's NPP award & you attacked her. Personal attacks show ignorance, a lack of class & insecurity. Those done in 'secret' show you are cowardly, shallow & incapable of backing up your argument with anything substantial. You can only shoot from afar.

I appreciate a healthy exchange of ideas & differing opinions - it's what makes our country great. What also makes our country great is that it is full of people who are able to use their character, influence & intellect to change their world. If you want Jen to change as you stated remember this: change is "caught" not "taught." There's nothing I caught in your words that would make me want to change. Perhaps you could present your opinion in a nice, intelligent manner & then you could be taken seriously.

Jen I love you -not because you are perfect or always right, but because you are transparent, you have an opinion, & you are original. You take risks, you state your opinion, you love deeply, you make mistakes openly. I love you for many reasons, mostly because YOU ARE YOU.

Anonymous I challenge you: give us real & concrete (tangible, measureable & impactful) reasons why Obama deserved the NPP vs. the runner's-up. And I challenge YOU (like you pointed out to Jen) to have an original thought. (BTW Anonymous - my name is Mark Gardner, I live in Plano TX - want my phone number? How's that for anonymity?)

wetherell said...

WOW!!!! This is crazy! Jen, Just take her words like a grain of salt. You are totally better than that. I loved the Obama post, I actually thought it was really funny, but with that said- I didn't vote for Obama and as he is our president, I will pray for him but Doesnt mean I like him.
Keep up the good work little one!