Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Could it be the Bra??

Verily, Verily I say to you I'm not giving up on my cleavage issue. what cleavage issue you might ask(if you are not a blog stalker)? the issue of there being zero, zilch, nada, nan, none, void, zippo, zot, a nonexistence to anything that remotely looks like a boob nicely protruding out of my neck line.

I made a friend come over last night to investigate. I've decided to change her name to protect the "not so" innocent. We'll call her Kimora Lee Simmons a.k.a. KS. After she poked, prodded, taped, tortured and fondled my chest one time too many, she decided it must be my bra. We've tried the "chicken cutlets" but they didn't work.

I'm pissed because I just bought a $60 bra from Victoria Secrets FOR the wedding and now it doesn't work. I'm needing a heavy duty, push-up to your chin, push up bra. Do any of you ladies have a suggestion? The fate of my boobs are in your hands (well, not literally but you know what I mean!).


Stuart and Brooke Newton said...

This might be TMI to put on here but hey you are getting ready for the bigest day of your life :) Okay so what I learned in pageants is you use duct tape...go from one side of your boob downward at an angel. Same on other side so basically you want to make an ex, then take the chicken cutlets and but them on the side so that it makes your boobs look bigger while you have more cleavage. This is hard to type out but easy to do, if you need any more explanation let me know!

糖果 said...
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