Thursday, March 18, 2010

Five Fact Friday (A Day Early)

No, it's not a day early because I'm boring and my life is a meaningless pile of poo. It's a day early because I'm going out of town this afternoon to visit Buckethead's grandma in Idontknowwhereiam, Mississippi. Should be lots of fun, except for the wee-little bitty-witty problem of Cats. Yes, (cringe, gawk, shutter, shiver) CATS. Cats and Me...don't mix.

Why wouldn't you like cats, Jennifer? Are you heartless? Not even KITTENS? Sweet, cuddly, innocent kittens. Seriously? What's wrong with you? are you made of stone? do you walk around in your pleather pants and imagine they are the hides of furry kittens? are you telling me you don't like MY cat?

Yes, see I know you! I can read your mind--told ya I was psychic!

But, no I don't have anything personal against the cats, besides the weird way they contort their bodies to lick their "private parts", the hair they leave behind everywhere and the frightening way they always manage to land on their feet (sounds like the work of Satan to me!). Besides that, I don't have a problem with them....well, if it wasn't for the fact that, being psychic, I know that I will die from a cat.

Horrible way to die, I know. But, it's true. I'm deathly allergic to cats. No not just sneezey, itchy allergic. I'm like stab your thigh with an epi pen and prepare the emergency tracheotomy to open up this girl's airways kind of allergic. And GUESS WHAT? You're never gonna guess it. Grandma Buckethead....has cute, snugly, innocent cats that I will drop kick out of my way if they come within 5 feet of me.

Mark has already prepared Grandma that she had to kick the cats out a few weeks ago and that I will not be interacting with these precious felines. I have also warned the kids in my very serious "adult" tone (which I'm trying to master) that if they didn't want their Queen Step-mommy in the hospital they will not touch the cats and then touch me. And if they really loved me they wouldn't touch the cats anyways just to be on the safe side. Guilt works people. And no, I'm not evil....just cautious!

Wish me luck; if I swell up like a red tomato, I'll be sure and post a picture.

Now to the Five Fact Friday:

1.) I pink puffy heart love show-tunes. My buckethead knows this about me and sweetly bought me Season Tickets to Dallas Summer Musicals for Christmas. Isn't that such a thoughtful and meaningful gift?? I love him. He loves me. We're married and he revs my engine. Okay, okay I'll shut up now before you gak on your computer screen OR try and steal my man. Either one wouldn't be pretty. Anyways, when I'm alone in my car, yes I will put in the Wicked Soundtrack and belt out "Popular" at the top of my lungs. And yes, I do the facial expressions, head nods, hand motions, the whole works. I'm good.....real good. My next apperance will be on George Bush Turnpike around noon today.

2.) I paint my nails at work. Yes, I'm the one who is guilty of filling the office with the smell of ammonia. But hey, it's better than "painting" your nails with a Pink Hi-lighter (don't act like you haven't done it).

3.) I met my bestest friend in this whole world when I was three. Her name is Mimi, and no she is not my grandma. I think she is the prettiest, sweetest, coolest and funniest person I know. Mimi is one of those friends that never make you feel bad. She doesn't leave you out, get on to you when your being selfish, or make you feel like your not good enough. During my divorce, she was one of the only people who immediately was like, I got your back. She took my side; right, wrong or indifferent. She has loved me unconditionally and that is sooo very rare. She is one of my greatest blessings in this life.

4.) I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

5.) I take a bath almost every night and only take a shower when it's an EMERGENCY. I am...ahem...LAZY. Yes, I admit it! I'm Lazy. And I do not find anything relaxing about standing up. I need to be lounging in a hot tub of bubbly water to properly clean myself. (That sentence sounds kind of disgusting...properly "clean myself" what?!?)

I hope you all have a great rest of your week! Leave a comment and tell me a fact about you. It's not fair that you know how I clean myself and I don't know a random fact about you!




2 comments:

Kellen Reid said...

I'll be the first to leave a fact... Mainly because I know what it's like to wonder if people will comply and leave a comment when you have clearly and maybe even nicely asked. ;)

I have just come around to taking baths. It used to really gross me out. I still can't take a bath if I'm dirty. They only serve for relaxing. I think I had bath-phobia, but I'm now able to take a bath and it's not so bad.

Katie said...

um, i do #'s 1 & 2 of your 5 facts sister. but i do like cats. really any and all animals.

LOVE me some baths - but i do shower every ... 2 or 3 days, i WILL drag my clean hair out for as LONG as it will last. i too am l-a-z-y. have fun, and don't go all "violet beauregarde" on us ... hopefully you know where that reference is from :)