Welcome to the first ever installment of Five Fact Friday. Have you figured out what this blog will constist of? well, if you're that stupid and can't figure it out......WELCOME! You've come to the right place. This blog is a magical, mystical world where stupidity and a huge ego merge together to create a train-wreck of a story that you can't help but read.
Well, to point out the obvious to those who are dumb, thus finding pleasure in this blog, every Friday I will give you five random facts about me. A bit narcissistic? ABSO-FREAKIN-UTELY. But, alas, remember all ye who enter this site.....this is MY blog. So, it's going to mainly be about, ME.
So, let's get to it, shall we?
Fact Number ONE:
I have freakishly small hands. Seriously, I do. My hands are smaller than my 10 year old step-daughter's. Listen, I have no problem with
Fact Number TWO:
Sci-Fi channel and anyone who watches the Sci-Fi channel....FREAK ME OUT. Battlestar Galactica? Seriously?? That speaks for itself....(I just got a shudder down my spine).
Fact Number THREE:
I LOVE Mayonnaise. I would put Mayonnaise on anything. I would probably even eat a spoonful of Mayo if it wouldn't make my ass jiggle and my husband throw up in his mouth. And I'm not talking about the nasty substitute of Miracle Whip. I mean, I wouldn't call that medicore spread anything close to a miracle....Did Jesus turn water into a "B" grade Mayonnaise? NO. Did he walk on Miracle Whip? I think not. So, Miracle Whip....don't get a big head or anything. You're the subsistute mayo....you could NEVER BE MAYONNAISE! Get it? Got it? GOOD!
Fact Number FOUR:
I use to have a ghost that followed me around. He would show up in my pictures and push things around just to prove he was there. I had him for about 3 years, but he left once Mark started coming around more. I don't know if he was scared or if Mark smelt like garlic. Maybe Casper realized that I didn't need him anymore and he could move on to move other people's ceral bowls and photo-bomb their pictures now. Either way, he's gone now.....and I kinda miss him.
Fact Number FIVE:
I caught a toaster on fire and called 911 when I was a kid and home alone (shame on you parental units!) When the fire truck got there, all that remained of my problem was a burnt pop tart and an embarrassed kid. My dad made me write an apology note to the fire department and sent a donation check along with it.
Well, there you go folks. Tune in next week for another episode of......FIVE.....FACT.....FRIDAY!!!! And the crowd goes Wild...........