Happy Friday Blog-World!
It's been quite a week in the Gardner house hold. Mark's very expensive yet ironically a piece of crap car broke down (while my low line, no tinted windows, lucky to have automatic locks, Chevy works great- ah thank you very much).
"Class, can any one tell the teacher what happens when a very expensive yet ironically a POC vehicle breaks down?"
That's correct. It basically takes away all your fun money you had saved for ahhh I dunno-hair extensions, David Yurman, a trip to the Bahamas and funnel cakes and makes you buy some weird part called an alternator. And because this very expensive POC is "special" it's about 3 million times more expensive than most alternators.
So my poor honey had to deal with his car and then, baseball practice happened.
Mark had a little run in with a kid in a baseball bat. Mark was all like, your momma so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out. And the kid fired back and said well, yo momma so hairy she looks like a chi-chia pet with a sweater on. And Mark was all like, Don't be talkin 'bout my momma and the kid just came at him with a baseball bat. It was crazy. Dust was flying. The cops were called. Mark rolled up in a ball and cried out to God for help....
Okay, so maybe that's not the real story. But he did get hit with a ball and a bat whilst being a good dad and assisting his son's baseball team.
Needless to say, we had a great time watching a re-run of Oprah in the E.R. Poor Bucket-head.
He was tough and put on his big-boy pants and acted like a macho-man. He even got up this morning and made his family a pancake breakfast.
All that to say, TGIF! And with every Friday comes, Five Random Facts about the Blogger of The Spilled Milk Saga, yours truly, ME!
So lets get to it, shall we?
1.) I loose the lid to anything and everything. Toothpaste? It's just a matter of days until the cap disappears. You know how there is a magical mystical place where all the lost socks in a dryer go? I think there is a magical world of lost lids because I can't figure out where in the world they go. It's on of the major mysteries in this world....kind of like the Bermuda Triangle.
2.) Speaking of toothpaste, I don't floss. I always say that I'm going to pick it up and I go out and buy really cool flossing tools, but the motivation only last a few days. Andrea-don't yell at me.
3.) I believe a woman should learn how to fix a car but act stupid so a man will do it for her. But, at least she'll know if he's doing it right. This rule of thumb goes for a number of things- changing light bulbs, hanging curtains, unclogging the disposal, plunging a toilet etc. etc.
4.) My childhood love died last year. His name was Patrick "make me sweat" Swayze. From the moment I laid eyes on him doing the cha-cha in Dirty Dancing, I knew he had to be mine. I was actually really sad when he died. One of the things I adored most about him was that he had loved the same woman for over 30 years. That kind of love and marriage is so rare in Hollywood. It made him one in a million.
5.) It is very difficult going from single-to-married-to-divorce-to-single-to-married. No, not emotionally. It's all these last names I've accumulated!!! I start breaking out in hives and sweating when someone ask me to verify my last name. I don't know whether it's under, Jennifer Porter; Jennifer Robinson; Jennifer Porter-Robinson; Jennifer Gardner; Jennifer Porter-Gardner; Jennifer Porter-Robinson-Gardner. Ahhhhhhhh! I will be so happy when I finally get everything over to just: JENNIFER GARDNER. Now that will be marital bliss!