I come to you this St. Patty's day morning in a foul mood 1.) because I followed that damn rainbow this morning only to find it's just a rumor; there really is NO pot of gold at the end of it. Seriously! There's not even a bowl full of cereal with multi-colored marshmallows in it. 2.) because of the insane amount of pressure to wear the color green on this day.
So this morning I basically got into a fist fight with my closet. It swung to the left. I ducked and threw an uppercut right to the closet's chin. Just when I thought I had won, it came from behind and put me in a head lock, threw me on the floor and kicked me in the ribs a few times. Needless to say, I lost. Is it not hard enough ladies to pick out an outfit in the morning, when your menstrual and running 15 minutes late? BUT, now you stupid Leprechaun, drinking green beer (which I could easily handle) is not good enough. No, you force me to pick out something GREEN lest I get pitched by every co-worker, person in Target and sticky handed child out there. I'm NOT Irish. I DON'T like the color green. I DON'T like to be touched awkwardly by strangers. Stay outta my bubble!
So, this morning I'm wearing this heinous green sweater that I bought during my "chubby stage" which is obvious by the maternity shape it's now giving my figure. This terrifying green experience inspired me to maybe expand my closet to have a little more green in it. That way I won't get team up on and pounded in the ground by my closet and a small green thing in black buckled shoes.
Here's what I wish I was wearing:
Do you pink puffy heart love that skirt like I do??
Is that dress on the right not slap yo momma cute?!? www.fashionpolice.net
And these?!?!? Fabulous! I bet I could have found the pot of gold wearing these puppies. I KIDD! I KIDD! I threw up in my mouth a little bit at the site of these Oscar the Grouch Uggs.
I think St. Patty's day for me will include a little trip to the mall. I will be sure to let Buckethead know there is no need to buy me a present....I got it taken care of. Next year I will not leave my house on St. Patty's day looking like a frumpy Kermit the frog!!
Don't get pitched!