Confession: I've prided myself and even bragged about being the "cool stepmom". I'm young, wear fun and trendy clothes that my stepdaughter wants to borrow, love the movie Twilight and use words and phrases like "OMG, that is like, so freakin fly. Don't be trippin, boo. Word to your mother".
So, I'm still trying to grasp how the events that transpired on Saturday could have EVER happened. Aren't you dying to know what made me realize that I'm not really all that cool in my stepkids eyes? Don't you want to know how I know that a stepmom is just as embarrassing and not cool as any other parental unit? Well, lucky you....I'm about to spill it.
Julia, my step-daughter, invited a friend over to the house on Saturday after her Volleyball game for a sleep over. She made sure that I told her dad to not try and play with her and her friend. They wanted to be by themselves and I nodded with complete understanding. Being the "cool" stepmom, I winked at her and told her, "I got this!". In my mind, I totally understood. I mean what pre-teen would want to have her and her friends play board games with their dad? Lovingly, I told Buckethead he just wasn't all that cool anymore and he wasn't invited to play.
"When in the world did this happen", Buckethead asked sadly as he slowly realized he was entering into the teenage years with his daughter.
Thinking that I was still in on the cool list with Julia and her friends, I asked them if they wanted to go see the new Miley Cyrus movie. I mean, how cool am I? I not only know who Miley Cyrus is but I WANT to see the movie, too. I imagined us sitting in the theater, sharing popcorn and gossiping about Miley and her new boyfriend who she stars in the movie with. The girls would then tell me what boy in school they liked and we would talk about how cute he was. It was going to be perfect.
When the girls said yes, I didn't expect anything less because, like I've mentioned a million times before, I AM THE COOL STEPMOM.
We get to the theater and the hints start dropping that the girls want to go to the movies by themselves. Honestly, I can kind of understand that. I remember being that age and wanting to feel more mature. Going to a movie alone, definitely makes you feel more like an adult rather than a kid. I don't let it hurt my stepmom ego, yet but I tell them, sorry not quite and bribe them with popcorn.
But, what happened next hit me like a ton of bricks with a giant "Loser" label on them. I was politely and oh, so sweetly asked by the girls to sit.....ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE THEATER BY MYSELF.
Shocked, I obeyed their command and sat alone in a dang Miley freaking Cyrus movie with NO popcorn (because they kept it). And to top it off, the movie ended up being really sad and I bawled and squalled, alone....yes, all alone in the movie theater whilst the other theater occupants looked on sympathetically at the poor and lonely girl who came to the movie theater by herself.
I'm not sure which one is worse, crying all alone in a movie or being asked by your stepkid to sit on the other side of the theater away from her and her friend and realizing you're really not all that cool after all.