Wednesday, April 28, 2010

To Hooters or Not to Hooters...that is the question


The other week I had a debate with a few of my girlfriends about the ever so famous, ever so tempting....Hooters. The question of the day was, "How do you feel about your husband/significant other going to Hooters"?
There is no question that men are drawn to this restaurant or others that are similar (Bone Daddy's, Twin Peaks, Third Base etc.) like a magnet that's attached to the front of their pant trousers, despite their best attempt to convince their wives it's because, Hooters truly does have the best wings or honey, I just went to BoneDaddy's for the yummy BBQ or my co-worker Steve made me do it!
We're no fool; women know it has nothing to do with the flavor of wings, the big screen T.V., your co-worker Steve or the BBQ. Simple fact is it has everything to do with the 19 year old part-time college students that prance around and serve you beer in a cloth that is comparable in size to the one their wives use to wipe off the kitchen counter.
The debate brought out many different responses among the women. Although, I have rarely given it much thought as my own husband is, thankfully, not a Hooters frequenter and this post is NOT ABOUT HIM-just wanted to clarify that. Obviously, most of these women had! I had one friend who was adamant that it was morally and ethically wrong on all levels. She said she would not approve of her husband going to these types of restaurants due to the following: most married men already struggle with temptation and this is just throwing it in their faces. It's letting them believe "lusting" for another women is okay, so long as she's simply a waitress in little orange shorts and pantyhose. She believed, this is a small step in a slippery slope that has the potential to lead to adultery.
Another friend of mine, fell on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. Her opinion was you need to let men be men to a certain degree. If the worst thing your husband is doing is eating at a restaurant where the waitress dress skimpy, life ain't too bad. She believed the moment you start enforcing strict rules on your mate, its the moment he's going to fight for freedom. If you don't allow him to have his sense of freedom with a little, innocent male commrodery and friendly banter at a restaurant, then he might find his "taste of freedom" elsewhere like with a woman in the workplace or alone in his office with pornography.
I fell somewhere in between these two. I understood both sides of the women's opinion's and was uncertain of which side of the spectrum I fell in line closer with. Do I think it's good for a marriage for a husband to spend three hours being served by a hot, size 2, 18 year old girl with giants boobs only to come home to a wife that hasn't showered in two days, has baby throw up in her hair and breast that have experienced nursing babies, mammograms and years gravity?
Probably not.
Listen, I don't have a personal issue with Hooter's waitresses. They're just a bunch of young girls working hard to make enough money for a six pack of Very Berry wine coolers, some new hair extensions and an outfit from Charlotte Russe to pay for college and text books. My biggest problem is when men perceive places like this as reality. When this happens, then discontent happens in the home. You're wife isn't going to dress up like a slutty lumber jack and serve you a juicy hamburger, laugh at all your jokes, show you a little cleavage when she sets down your beer and wink at you when you tip her 20%. (Although, that doesn't sound like a bad idea if you needing to add a little spice to the relationship)
But I also understood my other friend who said there is nothing wrong with a little male bonding over football, chicken wings and nice views. So long as those big "views" are somewhat covered and not joining him at an hourly motel.
So, what do you think? To Hooters or Not to Hooters?

18 comments:

Liz Rock said...

Can I just say that I LOVE HOOTERS! Not for the girls I really do like the wings! I try to get Kevin to go eat with me sometimes and he won't! LOL! Kinda funny!

JakePorter said...

I think Hooters is disgusting. I have a basic hygiene issue with that little amount of clothing serving me food. The more cover, the less chance of anything... falling out.

And I do think it is bad for guys and disrespectful to women. And I can't for the life of me understand how it glorifies God. (Sorry, the pastor HAD to come out of the box.)

Angela said...

First, I must admit what a prude I must be since I've never in my life even heard of Bone Daddy's, Twin Peaks, or Third Base. I have, however, heard of Hooters.

Let me say that I am so very thankful that this is a non-issue in my own marriage. In all of my 20+ years of marriage, my husband has never even hinted at a desire to patronize such a place. As far as I've ever known, he is not interested in any other woman's physical appearance, and subsequently complains that women are all too eager to show off what they've got. He also does not express any complaint with my physical appearance (even after 4 babies, and believe me, there is damage).

My biggest problem with places like Hooters is that when grown men get a kick out of them, it passes right on down to their sons and other young men they influence. Check out the facebook pages of young boys if you don't believe me. My son is 12 and I remember his baseball teammates talking about Hooters and disrespecting women because of their visits there at the tender age of 7! We start 'em young on their "manhood," and I don't think they need any more help than nature already provides in the area of lust which is sin and is harmful to many lives on both side of the issue.

I will clarify this by saying as much as I don't approve of places like Hooters that exist for this purpose, it's hard enough to protect your young but maturing son from such visions at Wal-Mart, a ball game, or even at church. Scantily clad women abound, so do we really need to seek out and visit a restaurant with the sole purpose of looking at the bare bodies of women? Doesn't seem prudent on any front to me. Why ask for trouble?

Sorry if I expressed too much opinion, but you asked! ;)

Sole Matters said...

hopefully one day i will marry a man that this wont be an issue with. i dont think that you specifically shouldnt let your hubs go - you're not his mom - dont tell him what to do. plus i feel like ...if you chase a dog, it will run. basically, if you forbid him from going, whats he want to do? go. it would be like "dont you dare buy those shoes" and then stalking them and finally buying them. does that make sense? although shoes and 1/2 nakey girls are totally different.

Katie said...

i used to (and still am kinda) be HUGELY against it. even though my mister played the "the wings are REALLY good" which they are, i have to give him that, i just think that you are LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH if you are going to tell me #1 - the girls aren't that pretty. um, if they're half naked and have a semi-decent body, i'm going to bet the men don't care about what's going on from the neck up. and #2 - the wings are the ONLY reason you're going there ... please. go to wingstop. they have good wings too. or champs, they have tv's everywhere. BUT we did go with some friends to have some "adult beverages" after dinner and i was PYSCHO nervous about it and once i got there realized the girls weren't that hot, the waitress we had was beyond sick skinny, had the face of a witch (literally) and looked like ross from friends after he'd been sprayed in the tanning bed in the face over and over and over again. i still don't think there's ANY reason for men to go without their wives. i think that's asking for trouble and very disrespectful. i even asked matt, if there were a restaurant where guys only that were jacked with a six pack were the waitors and they all walked around shirtless, would you be okay with me going because they "had great pizza"? and he, of course, said no ...

kanishk said...

the less chance of anything... falling out.
post free classified ads

Quick on your feet, but tired as hell said...

It really depends on the relationship that you have with your significant other. I went one time with my girlfriend and it was ok. Ive been there at times without her there and I didn't really look at the women, but I was watching the football game on the TV. I look at Hooters the same way I look at Apple-bees, TGIFridays, and other establishments. But on that note though is where people need to draw a line. Saying that the world of fantasy is reality is where problems begin real quick! And that is with any situation that would like to present men or women with any fantasy situation. So the easiest way to take it is to trust each other and converse about these places with others.

Anonymous said...

My husband went to Hooters with a friend, and told me about it later when he was asked where he dinned. I was furious and hurt, as well as very negativly surprised. I'm definitely against it, it's very disrepectful, my opinion is if married men want to do this, then they should be single,as simple as this.

Anonymous said...

My main issue is the objectification of women. We are not sexual OBJECTS! Sad that women sacrifice their humanity for money and attention. Sad that men are foolish enough to play along, especially married , middle aged men! So sad.

Anonymous said...

I never thought my husband would ever go to a place like Hooters. Turns out I was wrong. I have to be honest, it bothered me way more than I ever expected. Which is why I am googling it to see how other women feel. Here's the deal. I've had 2 kids. And honestly, I'm pretty darn sexy still. I mean I could probably get hired on at this stupid Bone Daddy's place he went to. Yeah, I know I sound like a concieted brat, but the fact that I'm still the weight I was when he married me and that i still get hit on frequently after being a devoted mom is something I'm kinda proud of. And on the by the same token i really don't he is not lacking in the gettin' some dept. He gets everything from role plays to just about anything else (yep, TMI). Anyway, I just feel so taken for granted and annoyed and it makes me think "am I not enough?". Men are pigs. And it is so sad that they are. And that sad, dumb girls play into all this to get some meaningless compliments and tips from said pigs. I know this is all pretty dramatic, but women do so much. We have the babies, try to raise good kids who can maybe make this world better, clean the house, often make money, keep ourselves looking hott, persue our own goals and dreams, support our men in doing the same, and can't they just make us feel like we actually matter more than some stupid 18 year old wearing some sleezy outfit and serving sub par food? I mean come on? And just knowing that my daughter may suffer these same feelings breaks my heart. I don't want to hate men. I don't want to tell my husand what he can or cannot do. I just want to believe there are men out there that aren't entirely carnal beings-- that have some type of self control and practice it. And I want to feel like I matter enough that he wouldn't ever put himself in a place like that simply because it would hurt me. Stepping off my soap box now. Oh and did I mention that men suck?

Feed my soul said...

I think your honesty is great! Coming from a place of sensitivity I understand your disappointment. It is really not about your self worth or whether or not you are beautiful. Im sure you are and he is clearly the lucky one because of your devotion and loyalty to him. I believe it is about a boundary that either you have expressed your concern about or you have not said anything.

Anonymous said...

I don't care what society says, if a man feels the need to look at another woman than he doesn't truly love the one he is with. Whoever said it is "nature" is full of shit. Excuses excuses to look at the opposite sex. If there is a need to go to strip clubs or watch porn or look at dirty magazines then he has relationship issues. My husband will tell you all of this himself, no thank you skank ass ladies. He doesn't want to see your nasty asses!!!!

Anonymous said...

How many of you have seen magic Mike...?

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree!!!! If they want to go to places like that then be single!!! My man did the same exact thing to me and went behind my back and went there without telling me. Honestly I feel hurt and betrayed, and the fact that he hid it from me made it hurt even worse.

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!!! Girl my boyfriend did the same exact thing to me! And I asked myself "Am I enough?!" And I also told him that I could easily get hired there and he told me he wouldn't want me to work there. Double standard? Hypocritical? I think yes!

Taylor Thompson said...

I went to my In laws how's who have five boys living there and one girly step mom in law. She put this movie on to show them what it's like to watch movies that are uncomfortable and "gross" and they still didn't take the hint.
I walked out when she put it on because I respect my husband (who was in NC at the time because he was in the military.
I found out later that he went to hooters and was talking about strippers and his ex lovers.... That hurt. I respected him enough to walk away from MOVIE. And here he was disrespecting everything we worked for...

Anonymous said...

I could have easily written your comment myself because I have said the same things! I found out that my husband goes to places like Hooters and Tilted Kilt when he's with his brother, but has told me that he's gone to other places. I've had 3 children and get hit on all the time. I take care of myself,I'm college educated and make a comfortable 6 salary figure. To be honest, I found out that he had gone to those places after the birth of our daughter and if it weren't for her I would have probably divorced him (the other 2 children are from a previous marriage-to a man that cheated on me, hence making me even crazier about this stuff). To say that I would have left him may sound a little overboard, but after we had been dating for about 6 months I found out that he had gone to another one of these places and I let it be known right then and there where I stood on the issue. I feel like he would go there and then go on to hide it from me because, simply put, I'm just not good enough for him.

BigMamaFolk said...

My problem with Bone Daddy's is when we go to eat as a family there, the girls/staff ignore my existence. They pour over my husband & usually leave my drink empty, give him my order sometimes, forget parts of my order or to take my order. Lets not forget they don't always seat us girls until he comes in & they fall all over their selves to seat him/us then. The whole experience is very irritating, the food is good so we have returned several times. I don't like their behavior, I'm a customer too as is my daughter. They need to be careful not to piss off female customers. No its not just him or us, my friends have complained of similar experiences there. :(

I think they think he will be stupid enough to leave a large tip if they stroke the ego, the funny thing is often times I pay the check so I'm the tipper! lol That's when I give the minimum, so their stupid mistake.