Believe it or not, there are moments when I actually think about things deeper than what Britney Spears is up to, how many calories are in that Ding Dong and when my next bikini wax is. So, today I'm going to ponder the following deep question:
"Can you screw up the will of God?"
Buckethead and I were discussing this the other day and have yet to come up with a conclusion. Being divorced and now remarried, this question hits really close to home for me. My marriage to the Bucket, though not perfect, is the greatest blessing in my life. He is the cheese to my macaroni. I can't fathom the gift of Mark being from anyone other than God. My prayers that I would cry out to Jesus in those heart breaking, terrifying and lonely moments a few years ago, were answered when Buckethead was brought into my life. I'd like to believe that our marriage is "meant to be"; an answer to prayer. I mean, isn't that every little girls dream? To find and marry their soul mate? The one man that God made for them?
What I want to believe is that we have got to think pretty highly of ourselves to believe that we can screw up the will of God. I know that Mark's divorce and my divorce were not what God wanted for us, but being an Omnipotent God, didn't he already know this would be a part of our winding and struggling path we walk on as Christian and he knew that Mark and I would be together in the end?
You may think my theology is way off, and maybe it is. But, what I do know is that had I not gone through what I did in my first marriage and experiencing the heartbreak of divorce, I really don't think I would appreciate what I have now with Buckethead. If the divorce hadn't have happened, I wouldn't understand Grace. A forgiving God was so far from my grasp of understanding, until I saw his forgiveness cover my darkest sin.
So does God allow the sin and hurt in your life to happen for his will to be fulfilled or can we truly screw up the will God has for our lives? After we fail, do we have to live out the rest of our Earthly lives in a life that was not intended for us? Or, does it sometimes take falling flat on your face to truly rise up to who you are meant to be?