Ever played the Fantasy Dinner game before? The game that allows you to pick 7 guest, living or deceased from any era in time, to join you for dinner? Given the fact that nothing in the last 24 hours has occurred that's even worth mentioning
or isn't X rated , I decided today, I would share my 7 fantasy dinner guest with you.
Originally my first choice would have been the obvious, Jesus Christ. But then I got to thinking. Sure, we would have a never ending supply of red wine and it's a heck of a lot cheaper to buy water than go to the Liquor store and stock up on some Merlot. Except, I know how I get after a few glasses and my guess is that the wine Jesus makes is pretty freaking awesome. And given the fact that one of my guest would be Teressa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey who's been known to flip a table or two at dinner parties, I decided I would probably just let Jesus join us from Heaven or better yet seat him at the opposite end of the table next to George W. Bush and cross my fingers that George keeps his drinking to a minimum.
Now this next person that would be joining me, I believe and have believed this for sometime now, could be my very best friend if only she would stop asking her security team to escort me from the premises. Just once, if I could breach her system and gain access the rest would be history. We would have pillow fights, gossip and paint each other's toes. This future best friend and the lady that would be sitting on the right hand side of me at this dinner is none other than......Miss Britney Spears.
Not wanting to seem unintelligent and completely surfacy, I know I would need to throw in someone of substance and great political influence. This is why my next guest would be
Chelsey Handler Sean Hannity. I would probably put Sean down beside Jesus and George, that way he would know once and for all that Jesus is a Republican.
Common sense kicks in and I realize that somebody has to pay for this dinner of Fillet Mignon, garlic mashed potatoes, sea scallops and Key lime pie; so I decide to invite Buckethead.
Now, I'm down to one final dinner guest and I decide to pick Kate Gosslin. Why? Because it's funny and she really stunk on Dancing with the Stars and at one point she had a litter of kids in her stomach and I want to know if she's REALLY having an affair with her bodyguard and compare hair extensions. (Yes, that sentence is a fragment, run-on etc. but I needed it for dramatic effect) I would deck myself out in head to toe Ed Hardy attire so I resembled her ex, Jon in hopes that she would go crazy and pop out a baby or something.
If she left in a huff, I would quickly replace her with Sebastian, the crab from The Little Mermaid because have YOU ever met a singing crab before? I don't think so.
We would all sit there, enjoying the wine Jesus made listening to the sweet song "Under the Sea" performed by Sebastian. Somehow the course of conversation would turn to the Twilight Saga and I would secretly wish I had chosen Edward Cullen to come to dinner over President Bush.