Monday, June 14, 2010


Before I begin, let me assure you that I will post part three of the Online Dating story sometime this week. In the meantime, do not come to my house and threaten me with pitch forks and torches.

We all know of the little flower Dianthus caryophyllus, more commonly known as the Carnation. To enlighten you on a little history of the carnation, according to a Christian legend carnations first appeared on Earth as Jesus carried the Cross. Jesus' mom, Mary shed tears at Jesus' plight, and carnations sprang up from where her tears fell. On another note, Oxford university students traditionally wear carnations to all exams for good luck. Carnations are also the national flower of Spain and the emblem of Mother's Day. {*all information provided by it MUST be true} But this is not the story I have been told growing up about this particular flower.

This weekend I went down to visit my family. Buckethead stayed behind and probably went to Hooters, drank beer that wasn't low calorie, ate fried food, pooped with the door open, snored and watched war movies worked. On Saturday night, I went out with my parents and brother to a Mexican restaurant where a few Carnations cheerfully decorated the table. I glared at the carnation with disgust.

" I don't like carnations", I declared as I flicked the delicate petals with my fingers.

"Of course you don't", my mother replied with equal distaste for the flower that was displayed before us.

My brother looked at us both and asked us why. Without pause I regurgitated everything I had learned from my mother at an early age about why we don't like carnations. First and foremost, they're cheap. If a man brings you carnations, you know he spent the same amount he spent on his Big Mac to purchase them for you. Secondly, they are of no use other than being a filler flower. Meaning you should always tell the florist that you want NO carnations in the bouquet so they won't rip you off.

My mom nodded her head so hard in agreement, she nearly got a concussion. She beamed with pride at the daughter who had learned one of the most important lessons in life; never buy carnations. But, as I looked at the flower, I noticed that it was actually quite pretty. And that it's fragrance was more lovely than a baby angel (not that I know what a baby angel smells like but I'm guessing it's pretty freakin awesome). Pointing this out to my mother, she looked a little closer and hesitantly said that she had to agree with me.

ME: "Mom, why did you tell me all these years not to like carnations"?

MOM: "Well.......because your Grandmother told ME not to like carnations".

Yes, craziness is passed down from generation to generation.

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we hate you. love, us said...

oh my gosh, I adore you. I have the EXACT same feeling about carnations! Some may say it's picky or snobby, but I don't care. And I went to a wedding where there were carnations for the centerpiece. Ick.


Kristin said...

I was always the same way...until I saw the post it episode of Sex and the City. A big bouquet of carnations in the same hue is actually quite pretty!