Tuesday, June 1, 2010

A Diet Called Divorce (Excerpt)

Good Morning friends, family and foes. Since today is a busy day for me and I do not want to leave you empty handed, I decided to give you guys a little taste of my book, "A Diet Called Divorce". This excerpt comes from the first few pages of the chapter : Divorcee' is Sexy. Hope you enjoy! Oh and, this is copywrited so, basically....don't steal my shit! Hugs!

Click here to read my previous entry: http://spilledmilksaga.blogspot.com/2009/11/diet-called-divorce.html

There is a wonderful and beautiful life even after divorce. When I was knee deep in the middle of it, I never would have guessed it. After it was all said and done there were a lot of things I wished I would have said and wish I could have changed. But, that’s the problem with life, there’s no rewind button. You just have to keep moving forward and hope that the heroin of your story finally learns from her mistakes, like the heroin in this story finally did.

It’s kind of ironic that you have to royally screw things up before you can learn anything from it. You could say, “If only I had known what I know now”, but guess what? You didn’t know and you probably never would have gotten that kick in the ass that you needed to set yourself straight.

We don’t have to pretend that it doesn’t suck when you can’t always fix the mistakes you have made. My mistake was unfixable. So was my husband’s. The damage was already done and the hurt was too deep. Eventually you get around to forgiving one another but sometimes, it’s just too late. When you put to imperfect people together to try and live as one, too often the dreams become broken.

My divorce went through and finalized that hot June day along with thousands of others. My case was one in a million to the people who buzzed around me in the crowed downtown courthouse. I sat with my sweaty hands folded in my lap, silently saying my last name over and over again in my head. After today, that name would no longer belong to me. In the back of my mind, I was reminded that within a few short months, the name would belong to the woman he chose over me. I no longer had the right to bear the name. Sure, it would take a few weeks to once again go through the motions of changing my name legal back to my maiden’s in an attempt to pretend this marriage never happened. But I knew better. This name would be the last thing I shared with him and I thought if I repeated it enough, this part of my life wouldn’t be easily forgotten.

My soon-to-be ex husband forfeited his required presence at the courthouse and I sat quietly with my lawyer in line to see the judge who would dissolve my marriage with ease in a matter of minutes. The court house was packed, filled with anxious faces ready and willing to put their past behind them. Yet, amongst the crowd were a few faces similar to mine; swollen red with puffy moist eyes trying their best to hold in their emotions until they made it back to their empty homes.

Mind you, I knew that this was how it was suppose to be. I was emotionally exhausted. At this point, I was ready to move on. But, despite knowing that finalizing this divorce was necessary, didn’t make it hurt any less. The knot in my stomach, was so painful I sat hunched over in my chair until the court attendant called my name.

Walking into the cold court room, I watched the end of a divorce proceeding for a couple who had been married for 17 years. My short three year marriage was nothing compared to what they were losing. Their years of memories would be much harder to forget than mine; I was envious of that. I was already starting to forget my husband and our time together was becoming a distant memory. I didn’t want to loose those recollections, not yet anyway.

Upon approaching the bench, I studied the man who held the power to completely change my future in his hands. I knew the judge wouldn’t remember me and my case by the next hour but I would always remember his face. He had long grey hair that he kept back in a ponytail; his eyeglasses were black rimmed and trendy. The black gown used to distinguish him as a high powered judge, hung open and loose, revealing his worn blue jeans and Hawaiian shirt he sported. He had a kind smile, crooked teeth and looked at me sympathetically as I approached the bench with my lawyer. Smiling down from his bench, at the shaking girl he looked straight into my eyes that tried with all their might to hold back the tears, and asked me if I wanted a divorce. I hesitated before I replied.

He didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know that I still didn’t know the answer to this question. That I had gone back and forth for the past several months trying to figure out whether or not my marriage could work. This man didn’t know that I had tried only weeks before to go back to my husband and beg him for forgiveness but had been turned down and rejected with the same conviction and certainty I had abandoned my husband with only a few months before. The internal struggle for the truth continued in my heart and mind and I feared it would be a question I would never get the answer to. But, regardless of it all, I knew my response had to be yes. There was no other choice, no turning back. The divorce was happening and there was nothing I could do about it.

I can’t remember exactly what was said or how it was handled but I’ll never forget the deep tone in his voice and the echo in the room when he said the request was approved. It was done. My marriage was over. For such a dramatic experience, there was no bolt of lightening or roll of thunder. Nothing in the rest of the world had change even though everything had just changed in mine.

My lawyer escorted me out of the courtroom and told me congratulations. I laughed because it was the most unfitting choice of words anyone could have chosen. It was a devastating moment in time. Maybe an “I’m sorry” or a “Best of luck” would have been more fitting but this was nothing to congratulate me on. I had ruined a marriage and paid a slime ball $5,000 to do it.

“No congratulations to you” I replied as I walked away, not looking back at the very perplexed lawyer standing with his hand extended.

Alone on the steps of the downtown courthouse I sat my tired body down and soaked in the warm sun that was beating down on my face. The courthouse lawn was crazy for a Thursday afternoon and the crowds of people rushing up and down the stairs, made my resting spot somewhat of a hazardous one. The transsexual who looked like she drove in on a Rainbow pony, dashed past me leaving behind the glitter and the faint scent of Vanilla. Her clear plastic heels knocked my purse down to the next step, spilling half of its contents.

Regaining my composure, I nestled back into my spot on the steps, this time with my purse tucked protectively behind my legs. Somehow, despite the loud voices and stirring that surrounded me, I closed my eyes and thanked God that despite it all, life goes on. Even though I felt in that moment I had the energy to do nothing, in the back of my mind I knew that eventually I would have to stand up, walk down the steps and move on with my life.

I listened as the birds chirped in the air. Although I hoped I wouldn’t end up with a big pile of bird poop caked in my hair, I smiled as their happy song echoed through the lawn and remembered the bible verse my mom would remind me of as a child, “If God takes care of the birds don’t you know he’ll take care of you, too?”

I believed that God would take care of me and that he would some how make this all fit into his plan for my life. As the tears began to fall, I knew I didn’t trust God to heal my marriage, so I took my own path, doing what I thought was the right thing because deep down, I didn’t believe God really loved meI understood that one day this would all be a distant memory. Something I would look back on and had trouble remember what I felt, how I felt and the decisions I made that forever affected my life and the lives of others. I knew there would come a day when I no longer held on to the guilt that would haunt me in my moments of weakness.

But as I sat on those steps, I knew today wasn’t that day. Today was the final reminder of my sins and of my failure. It wasn’t just the loss of my husband that made me mourn, it was the loss of that blind faith I had always had. Yes, it was horrible that I let my spouse down, but what is so much worse is I let God down. . Maybe even if I would have trust in God my marriage still would have failed. I’m not sure, but at least I wouldn’t have had to go through the pain alone. As I got up to leave, I knew that God has his hand over me. He would help me pick up the pieces, mend my heart and show me his unfettering love that I could amazingly still feel despite my disappointment to him. I knew my faith would continue to grow and I would eventually see the big picture in God’s plan for my life. The failure was a blessing in disguise because of the way it grew me as a person. .....(to be continued)

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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your book is going to be so amazing. We weren't ever really close but our parents are friends and I checked out your blog one night and have been addicted ever since. You truly have an amazing gift to move people with your words. This book is going to be so amazing!

Anonymous said...

I am so happy to let the whole word know how this powerful spell caster saved my marriage. Everything was going down the drain as my husband can not stop cheating on me with other women. It became used to always heating on me. I tried to make him stop, but I couldn’t help the situation, the more I tried, the harder it becomes. At times we will fight and go apart for some months and we will come back again just because of our kids. One day a friend told me about this spell caster who helped her too, his name is Dr.Igbodo , she said he uses his magic spells to solve spiritual problems. I decided to give it a try, I contacted him and he told me it will take just 2 to 3 days and I will see great changes in my husband. He actually cast a spell, believe me after 2 to 3 days of the spell, my husband was confessing different names of woman he has slept with. He begged for forgiveness and never to try it again. From that day till now, my mind is at rest. My husband dislike every other women on earth except me. And am so happy to have him for myself alone. The spell caster’s contact is okaforspiritualtemple@gmail.com,
or okaforspiritualtemple@gmail.com,
You can contact him for any help, he is very powerful

Anonymous said...


I was married for five years without any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home lately and not spending time with me any more. and because of this my husband divorce me. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my friend told me about dr.kumar from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him and he cast a spell to bring back my husband and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (boys) i am having a happy family with the help of Dr Kumar of spellcasttemple@gmail.com. Thanks to dr.kumar for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is:(spellcasttemple@gmail.com)tel.+2347051705853

mark pirex said...

my ex breakup 4 months ago and i was so depressed and devastated in getting him back.A friend of mine introduce me to a spell caster and i tell him my problem and i was guaranteed with 3 days to get my result and guest what the great miracle fell on me the third day and truly my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness even when i cost everything.God has truly blessed you with a very special gift. I just wanted to say thank you so much for the time that you took with me and helping me to get my ex back, i am so happy. You are the perfect spell caster i have ever met,you can contact him with this email Ogalalovespell@gmail.com he can help you all

Anonymous said...

Hello every one here, I found a great spell caster on line who helped me to get back my husband who has left me for pass 3 years. we where married for 10 years without a child and my friend introduce me to a real spell caster named Dr. ogala which I never believe it exist but after the meeting of this spell caster my problem where solved and now I am with my husband who left me for the past five years, my life and my entire family are now happy, now I’m pregnant with the help of this great spell caster. Thanks to Dr. ogala, I will advice anyone in need of help to contact him email: Ogalalovespell@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Hello every one here, I found a great spell caster on line who helped me to get back my husband who has left me for pass 3 years. we where married for 10 years without a child and my friend introduce me to a real spell caster named Dr. ogala which I never believe it exist but after the meeting of this spell caster my problem where solved and now I am with my husband who left me for the past five years, my life and my entire family are now happy, now I’m pregnant with the help of this great spell caster. Thanks to Dr. ogala, I will advice anyone in need of help to contact him email: Ogalalovespell@gmail.com

kess clara said...

Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony.My husband breakup with me 2 months ago after (10) years of marriage just because he met another woman in his working place and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web for help, i saw a post on how this spell caster Dr Trust on this email Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com@gmail.com,on how he have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply and explain my problems to him to his email and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back from the wicked woman who took him away from me and after 3 days my husband come back to me.I believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr. Trust. His email: Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatepsellcast@yahoo.com

speck anita said...


I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Trust When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Trust i was able to get my lover back after 24hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr. Trust on these contact details below Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com for proper understanding of what i have just witness. And i promise that he will help you as he help me. or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com

Bekar joe said...

Hi My name is "BEKAR JOE" just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage.because i really love SONNIA so much that i can not even do without. I was married for 15years with lilian and 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy with us. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via (Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com) Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.call him +2348156885231

Bekar joe said...

Hi My name is "BEKAR JOE" just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage.because i really love SONNIA so much that i can not even do without. I was married for 15years with lilian and 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy with us. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via (Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com) Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.call him +2348156885231

Sandey wilson said...

My name is SANDEY WILSON and I base in LONDON. UNITED KINGDOM ..“My life is back!!! After 14 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me and our two twins . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr OKAYA who i meet online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across alot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called sarah,she testified about how Dr OKAYA brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days and reverse the effect of their little boys cancer, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr OKAYA e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give Dr OKAYA
a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 2 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. Dr OKAYA is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try Dr OKAYA anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM Thank you Dr OKAYA.

Osas Joel said...

I know most of you don't believe in anything at all and yes you have the right so this is mostly for those who want to get their spouse back. I can tell that all those post you read, like five way to get your ex back doesn't really work or maybe it does works for some of you but for me, it was nonsense rather it complicated my love life problem. My boyfriend who was in love with me as much as i was in love with him broke up with me after the birth of our child.The only help i got was from AJAYI OLOLO a spell caster.Only his method of spell casting out of all the other ways on how to get your ex back worked.My boyfriend and i dated for two years and during that period i got pregnant and you know he was so happy i was carrying his child it was his idea that we keep the baby though i was going to keep it even when he said he was not ready.But he was most excited about the fact that we were going to have a baby.We went shopping on baby thing together, painted our baby room and did everything other thing about the baby together including being by my side when the doctor confirmed that we were going to have a baby girl. I have never seen him so happy as he was that day. Then the day i gave birth to my girl he came telling me he can't do this anymore. He said his too scared to be a dad he does not want to do anything to make his daughter hate him forever.It was so simple, all he had to do was to love her just as he love himself. Nothing i told him made him stay even when i told him what he was doing was going to create the hatred he didn't want between him and his daughter. Then he said i rather have it that way. I couldn't help it but to cry i mean how was i going to rise this child all alone and the thought of losing my man was i ever an ugly thing i pictured in my head. For crying out loud i don't need a child support all i needed was for him to be there with me and his daughter to protect us, to be there no her birthdays, and to be there for every holiday. Was that too much to ask from the father of my baby was it too much to ask him to love us just the way he use too? NO, i don't think so. It became obvious that he was unfaithful to me with another woman before and when i got pregnant because he move on so easily and started to date a girl i don't even know. And you know he even call to tell me he was seeing someone else. All I could think of was how to get my man and my family back. Tried all ideas online and they made thing worse i got arrested for troubling his home. That was when i made up my mind to contact AJAYI OLOLO a spell caster that so many people has made recommendations about online and also my sister told me about him before on how he has really been helpful to the world. I read a lot about him online all i read were positive comment about him because i could not find any negative one. Word has it that his words are true and grant you what you desire from him. So many testimonies about how he has restore a broken marriage, bring back your ex-lover, win lottery, and many more. All this thing i read made me contact. All he asked for was that materials for the spell be provide by me.I rather i sent him the money to purchase the materials than doing it myself so i sent him the money. He didn't charge me for his services like he said for it is against the spirit to ask money for their good work done. And believe with no time my child father was back and this time it was for sure he is never going anywhere. All i could see in his eye was love and nothing more. AJAYI OLOLO contact is: ajayiololo@yahoo.com He solves all problem.

Rita Brian said...


My name is Rita Brian from United States i want to thank Dr. Aquete for bringing back my husband, we broke up for more than 4 month and he told me that he never want to see me in his life again. i love him so much to the extend that i could not do any thing again, i was confused and depress due to the love i had for him.i did everything i could do to have him come back to me but all went in vain. so i decided to contact a spell caster, i did not believe in spell casting i just want to try it may be it would work out for me. i contacted Dr. Aquete for help, he told me that he have to cast a love spell on him, i told him to start it. after 3 days my husband called me and started to apologize for leaving me and also he told me that he still love me. i was very happy and i thank Dr. Aquete for helping me get back my husband back to my hands. his spell is the the greatest all over the world, it was the love spell he cast on my ex that make him come back to me. all you ladies who want back the ex husband back i want you to contact Dr. Aquete at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct at aquetelovespell@gmail.com or aquetelovespell@yahoo.com.his web sitehttp://auqetelovespell.webs.com/THANKS.

Rita Brian said...


My name is Rita Brian from United States i want to thank Dr. Aquete for bringing back my husband, we broke up for more than 4 month and he told me that he never want to see me in his life again. i love him so much to the extend that i could not do any thing again, i was confused and depress due to the love i had for him.i did everything i could do to have him come back to me but all went in vain. so i decided to contact a spell caster, i did not believe in spell casting i just want to try it may be it would work out for me. i contacted Dr. Aquete for help, he told me that he have to cast a love spell on him, i told him to start it. after 3 days my husband called me and started to apologize for leaving me and also he told me that he still love me. i was very happy and i thank Dr. Aquete for helping me get back my husband back to my hands. his spell is the the greatest all over the world, it was the love spell he cast on my ex that make him come back to me. all you ladies who want back the ex husband back i want you to contact Dr. Aquete at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct at aquetelovespell@gmail.com or aquetelovespell@yahoo.com.his web sitehttp://auqetelovespell.webs.com/THANKS.