Thursday, June 3, 2010

Don't You Touch My BACON

Usually, I try to stay away from voicing controversial opinions because it never fails that I will get at least one comment or email telling me how wrong I am. Which is fine, I don't mind you thinking I'm wrong, but when you get all drunk on your hater-aide and start calling me a cootie queen it makes me think, "Geeze, even though this is MY blog, which is about ME and MY opinions, maybe I'll just steer clear of voicing an opinion on anything other than my favorite Disney Character".

That being said, today I'm just going to come out and be controversial by saying,I don't like the Obama administration. And no, it's not just because I wear a "WWJD" bracelet, have an household that is taxed like we are Donald Trump and my daddy taught me Republican women are prettier. Yes, those contribute to my countdown to the next Presidential Election, but it's not my main reason. I work in the Human Resources industry and am having to dive into the specifics of the health care reform.

Now, I like to think of myself as an open-minded conservative. For example, I think attending a gay wedding would be so fabulous! They would probably have rainbow ponies for you to ride on and Lizza Manelli singing a duo with Elton John. We would toast to the happy couple with Cosmopolitans and leave covered in glitter. If that doesn't sound awesome, I'm not sure what does.

Basically, I'm not going to agree with a political view point just because it falls in line with my political affiliations stand. Mind you, I have been trying to look at the health reform with an open mind. That was until I heard the ugliest rumor I have ever heard. When this was initially brought to my attention I gasped and thought, "Could it be?" I mean this news effected me more deeply than when Save by the Bell went off air or when I found out that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were getting a divorce. I felt....betrayed, hurt, scared and utterly horrified. For anyone who truly knows me, they know there is one thing I have loved deeply without fetter my whole life; Bacon.

I love bacon. No, scratch that, I ADORE bacon. Laugh all you want, but there is nothing like a slab of bacon to start your day off, followed by a BLT sandwich for lunch and shrimp wrapped in bacon for dinner. When I eat bacon, I feel like I'm in a fairytale world with little pink pigs prancing around fat and happy in top hats on a rainbow singing, "We will gladly sacrifice our life for your enjoyment".

Did you know that the health care reform and the government sticking their nose where it doesn't belong and trying to regulate our salt intake will RUIN bacon? I bet you didn't know that, huh? Do you know what makes bacon so damn good? SALT. Do you know what bacon taste like without salt? WARM CARDBOARD. Well, my democratic friends no need to say I was right, you can just quietly scrape off your bumper sticker in the middle of the night and take a stand and VOTE FOR BACON.

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6 comments:

Brandi said...

OMG... you are too freakin' funny!!! I'm not a fan of Obama either. Makes me sick to think of what is going on.

Sole Matters said...

Republican women ARE prettier. Your idea of a gay wedding DOES sound Awesome! I’m in. (to attend..). Man I love a good BLT!! Ever had a BLT taco? It’s the poo. You cracked me up when you said that bacon tastes like warm cardboard without salt. And BTW, I think that after an election, EVERYONE should remove their gay “I voted for so-in-so” bumper sticker.

I totes looovvvve your blog/writing style. You always make me laugh.

lauren said...

*like*
(that's me pretending this is like Facebook.)

purseblogger said...

LOL! This cracks me up. :)

I may be the only one on here to say this but I have to say, I love Obama. There are many personal reasons for me why I do but I also totally respect differing opinions as well. We all have the right to like and vote for who we want. ;)

Kellen said...

I didn't know you loved bacon, Jen. I'm with you there. Life would not be the same without my bacon.

Mama Hen said...

Hopping by from Friday! I am a new follower! Really great blog! Come visit Mama's Little Chick.
Have a great weekend!

Mama Hen
www.mamaslittlechick.com