Monday, June 21, 2010

"The House that Built Me"

Three phone calls and a text message later, I have yet to talk to my Dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day. Oh well, I guess my love is so abundant or my brother has finally made his way up of taking on the "favorite child" position that he doesn't need a phone call from me to know that I'm thinking of him. I'm thinking maybe his phone is broken, or he made my entire family practice a duck and cover drill and they were out of range under the house....yeah, that's it.

Yesterday I spent the day with my husband and our two children (my step-kiddos for you newbies) showing him how special he is to our family. Buckethead is the backbone to our family and I would truly be lost without him. Having another day to celebrate him and his dedication to the one's he loves is always welcomed in our household. I bedazzled him a shirt that said "World's Best Dad" and made him wear it to church with a carnation pinned to the top--okay maybe I'm not that cruel. It was a perfect father's day, except my mind kept wandering back to my father...and I missed him.

There is a song on the radio that I heard this morning on the way to work that brought tears to my eyes; Miranda Lambert's song, "The House that Built Me". Although, I am in such a wonderful place in my life now, this was not always the case. I remember a few short years ago going home to my parent's house to try and clear my head of the confusion and heartache that engulfed me. I sat in my parent's back yard at the little tomb stone where my childhood pet was buried and reflected on who I was before I had become the person I didn't recognize; I reflected on who's daughter I was; I reflected on the person the people in that house believed I was and who I was meant to be.

Although, Dallas is my home now....the house that built me and the parent's that raised me in it will always be a home in my heart.

"The House that Built Me"- Miranda Lambert

I know they say you cant go home again

I just had to come back one last time.

Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.

But these handprints on the front steps are mine.

And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom

is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.

And I bet you didn't know under that live oak

my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing.

Out here its like I'm someone else,

I thought that maybe I could find myself

if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.

Won't take nothing but a memory from the house that built me.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.

From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.

Plans were drawn, concrete poured, and nail by nail and board by board

Daddy gave life to mama's dream.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing.

Out here its like I'm someone else,

I thought that maybe I could find myself.

If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.

Won't take nothing but a memory from the house that built me.

You leave home, you move on

and you do the best you can.

I got lost in this whole world

and forgot who I am.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it

this brokenness inside me might start healing.

Out here its like I'm someone else,

I thought that maybe I could find myself.

If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.

Won't take nothing but a memory from the house that built me.

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5 comments:

Charbelle said...

I love that song! It's one of my favorites! The bedazzled shirt with the carnations made me laugh!

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Great song! I love it!

I wish the story of the bedazzled shirt was true...so funny!

Mom said...

You are loved and missed, but oh how wonderful to know that you are happy in your new home. And never forget whose daughter you are. We are always thinking of you.

lauren said...

Oh, I do love that song...it's one of those that gets ya thinkin'...

Marjorie said...

When I left my ex with our 2 month old baby in tow, I moved back into my parents place. I'll blame the hormones, but those lyrics have me a little teary just thinking about how comforting it was for me to be there again after everything else in my life had fallen apart. There's just something about your parents' house that has a way of being comforting that nothing else can. I'm so grateful to have the type of relationship with my parents that allowed me to return home and get my shit together with their help.