Friday, July 9, 2010

Do Boobies make us go Bonkers?


Do Boobies make us go Bonkers? Think about it, Teressa (Real Housewives of NJ) gets her "bubbies" done and WHAM....she flips a table over at dinner. Women like Jennifer Lee (pictured in the photo) are about one Xanax away from a nice relaxing stay in a padded cell. Silicone sisters are all around us; especially in my part of the woods. Mind you, I live in one of the top ten most prominent cities in the United States. Therefore, you cannot walk through a Target at ten o' clock at night in your PJ's with zit cream dotted all over your face, bra-less with your 'girls' hanging close to your belly button and not feel self-conscious waiting in line next to the vixen mail-order bride with her double Ds at the check out counter.


The University of Philadelphia did a study on women with breast augmentation and found they are 3.5 times more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety than women who are shaking what their momma gave them and staying natural. So what comes first: the chicken or the egg? Does having large breast that draw attention to yourself cause you to develop depression and anxiety OR are people who suffer from these ailments more likely to get the surgery done in hopes of fixing their already present depression?


I have to assume it's the latter of the two. That being said, I am not completely opposed to plastic surgery. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think you should ever disfigure yourself or attempt to use plastic surgery as a crutch for deeper problems. But, heck if my boobies end up looking like two pancakes with a nipple attached to it after my future child sucks the life out of them I might, just might be at the doctor's office learning about the difference between silicone and saline implants.


But, I can't help but wonder if our world is going a little 'mad' with all the attempts to perfect your outward appearance. If you recall, last week I went to a bikini truck show and received 20 injections of botox FREE with my purchase of a swim suit. I mean seriously?? What happened to getting a free bottle of sunscreen or a water bottle? Is plastic surgery so accepted and easy to come by that we will all end up expressionless and clipped, nipped and tucked?


We can thank the Jewish community for a lot of things; Jesus for one. We can also thank them for Barbara Streisand, kosher hot dog weenies, Jill Zarin and for Mel Gibson polluting all the news stands last year. But, do you know what else we can think them for? Collagen. That's right gals. That syringe of fat you inject into your lips to plumb your pout--it contains foreskin. That's right FORESKIN. So, next time you see your Jewish friends out in the community be sure and thank them for the gift of circumcision and the benefits you get from it.


Now, if that doesn't make you think twice, you're helpless!



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10 comments:

Charbelle said...

I love this post! I think the depression and anxiety have something to do with believing that if "this" is fixed then everything else in life will be perfect and life just doesn't work that way.

Katie said...

um, i might vomit. penis injected into your face? no thank you. dee-sgusting. plus the fact that matt has informed me that he will end my life (kidding. sort of) if i ever do anything to my face. but seriously. foreskin? gross.

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Ok, I so didn't know that. That's nasty.

But boobs...I'd consider AFTER having children...I don't want these girls being all saggy. I've debated even having children so I don't "lose them"...but let's get real, kids are amazing!

And how did the botox go?? I'm in my mid-20's and I have thought about it...your opinion?

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Super cute blog, and this post is hilarious! I am with you on the whole thing, I go back and forth about reasons people get fake boobs and if I would ever get them, but I defintely think their is major truth to that study about depression and anxiety.. and my lips thank you for scaring me our of ever getting collagen injections :)

Sole Matters said...

so im almost 27 and ive had my fake boobs for 4-5 years. i LOVE them. they are the best things ever. seriously. I was small chested (an A) and I went to a full B. nothing fake-looking. honestly, they look real.

With that being said, ever since I was little I wanted boobs. Since I didn’t get a massive boob job, I wouldn’t say that I really draw attention to myself. Although now when I see guys looking at my boobs it cracks me up.

Also, depression runs in my family. Currently I am on anxiety medication b/c 2 years ago I had a panic attack. So..Im not really sure what that says about the study. Anyway, to each their own, IMO. A little self improvement never hurts – whether its inside or outside. :)

we hate you. love, us said...

woah, free botox with a purchase of a swimsuit?! Usually you'll get a free tote bag or sunglasses or something. Bananas.

This is a great post. I totally think you're right.

Flores Family... said...

You seriously crack me up!!! Where do you learn these things?? Leave it to you to know these crazy facts. ha xoxo

Design Apprentice said...

This post is so dead on. I have a cousin who just got her near perfect nose done. Now shes going to be getting a boob job and lipo on her size 6 frame. It makes me sad, I think girls should be directed to a counselor before going under the knife.

Jess said...

I didn't BF any of my three children, and my boobs still have taken up residence under my armpits. Pregnancy does it.

And I've already told my husband I want boobs. Not because I need them bigger. I'd just like them back where God put them when I started out. I'd prefer not to have to lift them from under my arms to put on my bra.

Katie said...

i just re-looked at this picture after reading your last post and realized that this is a futuristic picture of heidi pratt. spot on.