Monday, August 2, 2010

Friends--No, not the ones on Facebook

I wanted to take a few minutes to speak about friends.

According to Facebook, I have over 700 “friends”. Sounds like a lot right? But, have you ever gone through all your friends to see how many of those hundreds of people you really know? Sure, maybe you sat by one of them in Spanish class your junior year of college or one is the friend of a friend you met at a birthday party two years ago. There are some on there that I truly have no stinkin clue who they are. I'll look at them sideways, upside down and picture them as the opposite sex (you never know) but still...blank. Nothing, nada.

Acquaintances are easy to come by. But real friends—now that’s a different story.

You know what one of my favorite things about troubled times are? I know, tough to imagine you would categorize something that comes out of a bad experience as a “favorite thing” but it’s true for me. And no it's not how having aniexty gets you a high dose of xanax or how clean women's restrooms are at gay bars. Although I'm not discrediting the two, my favorite thing is I love how when the road gets bumpy, you find out who your friends are.

There is something sort of magical about true friendship. There are no contracts binding you together, no blood relation keeping you entwined, no requirement to maintain the relationship other than the sole desire of wanting to be friends. I justly consider myself the luckiest girl because I have the best friends in the world.

When I got a divorce, I had friends that cooked for me, welcomed me into their home, prayed for me and supported me. Those were my college girlfriends, my girlfriend from work and my best friend, Mimi. They loved on me when I did not deserve it, and comforted me when I had nothing else. They are my girlfriends for life; my pedicure buddies and my girl trip go’ers. There like my bra; close to my heart and there for support. I am so thankful for them.

After a few months of a whirlwind romance with Buckethead, I was apprehensive that we would not find friends that would be companionable to our circumstances. Most of the couple friends I had pre-Buckethead, were long gone and moved on with my Ex. The same happened for him. Although our relationship was fun and solid, something was missing; friends. Real friends. The kind of friends you “do life together” with. I didn’t even have to jump backwards 50 times and sacrifice a goat to get them, but we were blessed beyond measure with our friends. We “do life” with an amazing couple of families. They love us, knowing our faults, the dreadful jokes we tell over and over again and how we behaved that one night when we drank tequila. These friends have your back, love your children, lend their ear, swap shoes, and cook you barbecue. They pray for you, laugh with you --sometimes at you, cry with you and take on challenges with you such as figuring out what the "K" in K-mart stands for or why Yankee Doodle named his feather Macaroni. I am so grateful to have couples in my life that love me and my husband. It is one of my greatest blessings.

They say you can never have too many friends. I disagree. Don’t invest your time in the hundreds that don’t know your struggles, don’t know your circumstances, don’t do what’s best for you, mean you harm and don’t know your heart. Focus on the few that do and spend your lives together.

“If you live to be one hundred, I hope to be one hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you” –Winnie the Pooh to Christopher Robin.

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Katie said...

amen sister. even though we've never met, i'm pretty sure we're going to be good real life friends at some point. maybe after i birth this little boy and can go out for for 'ritas :) mmmmmmmm. there's one friend that has your back. or leaves you on it rather ;)

we hate you. love, us said...


I totally agree. I think having a few really amazing friends as opposed to 100 is the best. To have a friend who will always be there and will hop on a plane, fly thousands of miles to sit on the couch with you because she knows you've been upset lately is such a blessing.

Kristal said...

I love you Jen! You are one of my "do life with" friends! I am so blessed to know you and even more blessed to love you! Thank you for your friendship - I could NOT "do work" without you.

Aly @ Analyze This said...

You write some of the best posts. I always seem to have an 'ah-ha' moment when I read your blog (Which is one of my favorites, that I check daily to see what you're rambling about now)!

I've always been a believer that I'd rather have one great, best friend that knows every in and out about me...versus many that do not know me at all!

And for real, what does the K mean in K-Mart?!? And do those stores exist anymore?

Have a great week!

lauren said...

Love this true....thanks for sharing!

Design Apprentice said...

unbelievably well said. Facebook tallies are a joke in the grand scheme of life and what makes a true friend. It is really really hard to have fellow couple friends too; people who really get you, and that you find equally witty. I think with age it can be even harder to decipher who are most near and dear are.

If you lived in Chicago I'd be asking you for a pedi date and the DL on K- Mart and Yankie Doodle.

BlessedMama said...

So, very true and I happen to be experiencing the "friends" issue right now. Thanks for posting!

Laura said...

totally. I couldn't agree more! When the rubber hits the road, that's when your true friends come out. and love you always, no matter what. I'm lucky to have a handful, and I cherish each one of them.

just stumbled your blog, and say the title (hilarious) and loved it!

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