Sunday, December 5, 2010

Random Ramblings

Today was day one in the 2010 Christmas shopping ordeal.

Mission: NOT accomplished.

My self-absorbed tendencies ADHD is often highlighted this time of year especially when I'm shopping for others. I'll be out and about, fully focused on the gift buying process, but within moments I will be mesmerized at all the wonderful, mystical, magical presents that should be under the Christmas tree for ME.

A magnetic force kept pulling me toward the Handbag section of Nordstroms. No matter how hard I fought, the tractor beam was too strong. Kind of like Star Wars.

But, I've never seen Star Wars. And if you make a comment that you "can't believe I've never seen Star Wars" then that only means one thing: you're a dweeb.

I made Buckethead my Christmas list today. Then I went into our home office and made a copy for him.....just in case he lost it. It's now laminated and posted on our fridge.

I made a sad, sad, heart-wrenching discovery: I'm allergic to tequila.

So long, sweet margarita. Adios Jose Quiervo.

You see, every time I drink tequila I piss my pants and forget who I am for about 30 minutes. Okay, maybe not that bad but I do end up on the toilet. Actually, that's where I am now.

I hate our dishwasher. I also highly-dislike our washer and dryer. My dishwasher was spraying dirty water all over the kitchen today, whilst my dryer's buzzer hung until I kicked it, spit on it, and told it his momma is so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.

Our house is so pretty at Christmas time. It makes me happy. The house being all lit up is like living in a Lite Brite. (remember that 1980's classic?). Speaking of Lite Brites, whatever happened to the simple Christmas present request?

I'm shitting bricks at how pricey everything is this year.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't use that kind of language. I'm shitting rocks at how pricey everything is this year.

When I was a kid I told Santa I wanted Barbies and a real life Ken doll all for my self. (Thanks for B.H. Santa! He's better even better with his opposable thumbs and legs that bend) Now, all the kids want are IPod touches, laptops and some "Fusigee Gravity ball" which was sold out in the mall except for in the "As Seen On TV" store. That $30 piece of crap is going to break by New Years.

Happy Belated Birthday to Britney Spears and a few other old pals of mine had a Birthday, too.

Here's a tip: Never trust a man who wears more jewelry than you do.

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9 comments:

Brandi said...

Yeah, when I attempt to Christmas shop, I always buy for myself!!! Then I feel guilty, so I wrap the gift myself and put it under the tree from SANTA..haha!! We deserve it!!!! And Tequila, me too!!! SICK!!!!

hotpants™ said...

I'm the same way this year. All I can find are things I want. I'm not buying anything for myself though. I have restraint.

*so far*

Wishe me luck. Lots and lots of luck!

Aly @ Analyze This said...

I wished Brit Brit a happy birthday in my post today ... creepy!

What?! No more tequila?? How else will we have fun when I come visit?!

Did you for real laminate your Christmas list for BH? If yes, I want his prospective/dissection of this list!

Tiffany said...

Love it! Except the tequila part. That is very sad!

Young and Fabulous said...

new follower! hahaha i laughed so hard at this post! read back on a few of your entries and am loving what i'm reading! can't wait to read more!

xoxo follow me!

we hate you. love, us said...

I've never seen Star Wars either!!! People always gasp when I tell them, but I just say "eh, not my thing." Glad to know I'm not alone :)

Whitney said...

I've never seen Star Wars either!

Cassie said...

Oh-my-gawd dont even get me started on tequila! Its a totally love-you-hate-me relationship!

Good luck on the christmas shopping!

Just found your blog and I am excited to follow

Jumping Jack said...

My Christmas shopping mantra: One for you, one for me!