Friday, June 10, 2011

Groupon = Laser Hair Removal = PAIN

Before I begin, I must note that this blog post is about hair removal. If you don't know me that well, I tend to be somewhat graphic in my tales. So if you don't want to know what happened between my butt cheeks this morning. Look away; please, please, look away.

Now, I assume most of you know about the wonderful, mystical world of Groupon. A flying unicorn that farted glitter couldn't get me more excited than when my email bings with an out of this world good deal on Groupon. So, a few weeks ago when a laser hair removal coupon-Groupon was posted, I immediately jumped on that smooth deal. Mind you, I could have selected any menacing section of hair to remove but I chose to "de-hair" my private lady parts.

It sounded like a good idea at the time. Although I thought I was intricately prepared for my 9:30 a.m. appointment for my first out of six sessions, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I was told 45 minutes before I came into the appointment to apply a numbing cream that I bought at the consultation. Fervently, I applied the cream, getting every nook, cranny and crevice completely covered. Then I washed my hands. Apparently not good enough. Within 15 minutes my lady parts, three fingers, my right eyelid, half my tongue, my bottom lip and an ear lobe were completely numb. But, being the optimist that I am, I looked at this as a positive. I figured with the cream's potency I wouldn't be feeling a thing from the laser treatment.

Wrong again.

Now, if you remember a blog post of mine from a few years back, this ain't my first rodeo with hair removal in a "delicate" place. I have had many moments in the back room of a nail salon, being tortured by a lady named Ping. That was painful, but I had gotten out alive. Surely, this wouldn't be any worse.

The place were I was getting the laser treatment done was at a medical "spa". Medical Spas are almost as common in Dallas as a Starbucks. There is one on every corner. The mass amount of money women will spend in Dallas to be brought close to the brink of death for beauty is insane. Sure, peel 10 layers of skin of my face, just make sure the room smells of lavender and I get a foot rub at the end.

Yes, the spa setting is very deceiving. Walking into a beautiful room, with fresh flowers and calming music makes you believe your their for a Swedish massage. The cushy bed was far from a examination table and the cucumber water added a nice touch.

Perhaps it was the esthestican advising me to let her know if my pain got above an eight that got me realizing this wasn't going to be a walk in the park.

"An eight?!?!" I thought to myself. I cry for 20 minutes and ask for a bag of ice if my pain scale hits a 4. But, "an eight??!" I needed some liquid courage, but there wasn't a margarita in sight. I was going to have to be on my own on this one.


One. Two. Three.


Explicitive. Explicitive. Explicitive.

After the first zap, you could have stuck a fork in me. I was done. My common sense finally kicked in and I was thinking, was the heck am I doing? Why in the world would I subject myself to such pain? No scratch that, why in the world would I PAY to be in such pain? It felt as if Chuck Norris had shot laser beams out of his eyes and onto know. The tech had to coax me into staying on the table, assuring me I would get use to the zap and that it wouldn't take much longer.

30 zaps later and 5 minutes in a position where I had to be on all fours; I was finally done.

After the treatment, I looked as if I had run 10 miles, in 100 degree weather through a hurricane. I was drenched in sweat and yes, I was crying although I blamed in on allergies.

One treatment down. Five more to go.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

post signature


Kim @ Stuff could... said...

I did not know that it was painful. I will remember this...

I'm Jess said...

Love your post! I totally feel (have felt) your pain, I'm one down also (w/o the numbing cream) and yes I have since bought the cream! LOL!

Lauren said...

You crack me up! Love reading your blogs! :-) Good luck on the future 5!

Melissa Jo said...

I so badly want to get it done but that sounds just down right absolutely awful! Hopefully the other treatments get better!

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Ouch!! I can't believe you did it, however, in the end it will be worth it!

Ambs said...

I have been reading your blog for a while (LOVE google reader), but I am new to the whole following thing. I wanted to say HI :)
I LOVE your blog, definitely one of my favorites (I was reading it in fact when my beloved blackberry bit the dust and I had to go get a new phone, lol).
Keep it up, girlie... and I hope the next treatments aren't nearly as painful... ouch!!!

Sole Matters said...

HOLY CRAP!!!! i thought getting a wax was bad?! have you had a wax before?? more pain or less?? SHIIITTTT. im scurred.

Meredith said...

I hate get the waxing done On my private lady parts was awful at first, but I've gotten use to it. You're brave!!

KDubyaF said...

matt is looking at me with a "what the heck are you giggling so hard at" face. i told him it wasn't for his eyes to read. actually, i think i said "eyemuffs". HI-LARIOUS. let's play soon, mmmkay?

Colleen said...

Damn. Well, I can strike laser hair removal off the list of things I'd like to try . . .

hair removal said...

I've been wanting to try this, thanks for the review. I think I can handle the pain.;D

emily said...

Every time when I hear about an amazing deal I look on the other side, because the cheapest solution always proves to be crappy. When I decided to do a laser hair removal treatment I searched for the best clinic in town, even if the price wasn't the lowest. I chose a very known laser hair removal toronto clinic because I knew their doctors are qualified and also experienced. I don't care if it wasn't the cheapest solution because for me safety comes first.....
I'm sure your experience was a good lesson not just for you but also for all your readers.

Laser Hair Reduction Houston said...

I want to recommend it. Thank you.

HyunChard said...

It seems suspicious knowing something that's too good to be true, specially with regards to hair removal. Well, then better check some reviews.

Laser Hair Removal NYC said...

Any area of your body can have laser hair removal treatment except those hairs that are close to eyes.

Laser hair removal said...

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Anonymous said...

After years of getting brazilian wax I too decided to jump on a opportunity in the Chicago area. I went for the first time and despite some of the negative things I've heard I found it wasn't nearly as bad as you described. There was no numbing lotion required so I can't help but think maybe they used a different type of laser technology where you visited. Anyway I would describe the slight pain as either the equivalent of plucking 2 hairs out every half inch apart (which is about how far the move the laser between each "zap".) I would also compare it to when you touch a 9-volt battery to the tip of your tongue to see if it's still good. I should also mention that I'm a straight male and I do this because both my wife and I like the clean look and feel of the "Man-zilian". I only point this out to make the point that the soft skin on man's "under carriage" is equally if not more sensitive than a woman's "bits and pieces". But I suppose that's an eternal debate. :-)

Cristina said...

I do my underarms, and they hurt almost as bad as the bikini. It does hurt...and unfortunately, it won't get better. From what my laser hair removal lady tells me, they amp the watts every session, so...maybe go in a little "happy" next time :)? i've also heard drinking a couple tylenol or w.e. you use about half an hour before help as well.

Leah S said...

GIRLS! Its all about the LASER! The Laser is the key to your pain free...well almost pain free experience. AND beware of the groupons - for 6 treatments for $99 for laser treatments I would imagine you won't be getting a quality Laser. Make sure you NEVER have an IPL laser for hair removal. IPL = PAIN.

All I can say is ATHENS LASER HAIR REMOVAL in Allen Texas. You won't go wrong for Laser Hair Removal treatments.I love Shanon and her Laser is the best of the best.

I would check her out on line or at 855-293-4247, she is awesome!

I am soo soo happy with my results and I have never used numbing cream, her laser is ALMOST painfree!

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Anonymous said...

well, im doing a groupon laser treatment for my neck. and it is GREAT, have gone 3/6 times and the hair is disappearing, and the hair that is there is very thin.

it stung the first time, more like a little current going into the hair. now i dont feel anything. Best $100 bucks i EVER spent.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where you went but I've had laser hair removal done twice and it was not painful at all. The first time, the doctor asked me if I was okay and I said, "oh, you started?" The second time was at a different place and it was a stronger laser, felt like tweezers pulling hair out over and over, but not painful. Ladies, if you've given birth or even waxed, this is a walk in the park! I'm going tomorrow and so excited to be practically hair free! Take a couple motrin 2 hours before, you'll be fine.

conradmoore said...

Laser hair removal is a now common procedure which removes hair from a persons body using a laser, laser technology is able to break the hair growth cycle by targeting and killing the hair follicle. Read more for more details.

Anonymous said...

I just had my first full Brazilian treatment. I was nervous going in and for some strange reason, really "in the mood" after. I have a fairly high pain tolerance and I only winced a couple of times. It was not nearly as bad as I expected. I hope it takes, if it does it will be the best Groupon I've EVER bought!! I got my pits, forearms, lip, and full Brazilian for under $500!! I was lucky enough to get the salon owner, too, who was just as sweet and professional as they come. :)
Good experience for having my lady bits and crack exposed to a complete stranger!!

Anonymous said...

suggestion from a random visitor. i suggest your proof read your work.

Anonymous said...

Vicodin. Only way to do it.

Kristy Martin said...

Sad that you felt pain... but why? Because I personally also followed a laser hair removal treatment in Toronto by Dr. Jerome Edelstein and everything went smoothly... without pain, only a little discomfort, as it's normal. I also think that depends from person to person and from our hair type.

Simi Agrawal said...

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Laser hair removal course said...

It is painful!! I didn't know that.

Anonymous said...

I've had 3 treatments and it HURTS....i have large tattoos that is NOTHING compared to is an EXTREMELY PAINFUL procedure, I couldn't even stay still....they say beware of places that claim to be "painless"...the settings are not high enough for long lasting results.

Sidratul Muntaha Choudhury said...

I dont think laser hair removal is painful. I have done laser hair removal course and I can assure that.

Gaye Cisneros said...

You're the one who applied the numbing cream on yourself? In my sessions, I had no idea what I was getting myself in either, so it was their tech who did all the work, including applying the gel. It was ticklish, but I would take that over the hundred times over than the pain I felt afterward. On the second session, I was expecting that level of pain, but it hurt less with each session. Gaye @

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George Chambers said...

As you warned, you told this tale a little graphically. I can almost imagine the set up inside the room as the hair removal procedure is being done. It's bad to hear that you experienced that much pain even though you applied the prescribed numbing cream. These things really happen to some, but I wish that you still went to finish all of the sessions and is as hair-free as you can be by now.
George @ Amani Med Spa

Candance Summerall said...

Ouch. Oh wait, isn’t laser hair removal supposed to be painless? Mine was. Yes, it stung a little at first and at times when the amount of cold gel applied isn’t enough. But the pain wasn’t that bad – just more like a sunburn. Your experience sounds like it hurts more than a first time in waxing. Anyway, I hope the treatment ended with a great result. Candance @

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Farida Parvin said...

Like your post very much. Will the pain be same for the Laser Hair Removal for Face?

Heather Jordan said...

Jennifer! We would like to invite you to Laser Beauty Medical Spa to experience what a brazilian laser treatment should feel like...for free :) You can learn more about us on our website at Just give us a call to setup an appointment and we will be happy to help you. 972.930.0333

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nutrendmedia said...

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Mabroor Bhatti said...

This is something that I've been looking into lately. I'm so jealous of people who don't have to shave anymore. I think this is something I will have to splurge on getting, I know I wont regret it.

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Samantha Theaumont said...

Too funny... however,spa810 is a new franchise on the spot in Dallas that offers truly PAIN FREE LASER HAIR REMOVAL!!! I tried it and it is just as they say, and it wasn't awful!!!!

Laser East Med Spa said...

good one.

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everydaynews said...

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Elizabeth J. Neal said...

There are probably a million ways to have fun with a brick. Here are seven of them. Full Body Waxing in NYC

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So, a few weeks ago when a laser hair removal coupon-Groupon was posted, I immediately jumped on that smooth deal. Mind you, I could have selected any menacing section of hair to remove but I chose to "de-hair" my private lady parts. Murray Hill Manhattan Nail Salon

Elizabeth J. Neal said...

It sounded like a good idea at the time. Although I thought I was intricately prepared for my 9:30 a.m. appointment for my first out of six sessions, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Brazilian wax deals in NYC

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Elizabeth J. Neal said...

Then I washed my hands. Apparently not good enough. Within 15 minutes my lady parts, three fingers, my right eyelid, half my tongue, my bottom lip and an ear lobe were completely numb. waxing center NYC

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