Family Summer Vacation: Texas Hill Country

With Dallas on its 24th consecutive day of triple digit temperatures, the Texas heat is finally starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Texas. We are the inventors of Blue Bell Ice Cream, the Bush twins, the ten gallon hat and the best Mexican food illegal immigrants can provide. But my Texas pride is friggin melting! Never the less, when Vacation time rolled around, the family loaded up the car, I threw on a bikini and a pair of boots and headed south to the tropical paradise of.......Texas. Okay, so it's not Cancun, but we did go to the Texas Hill Country and had one boot-scootin hell of a time!

Gruene Hall- in Gruene Texas
The Oasis- Austin, TX

The Oasis- Austin, TX

The Oasis - Austin, TX

We also went to Shlitterbahn Water Park (World's Largest Waterpark) where I soaked in stranger's pee for 9 hours. Side note: I was dumped at Shiltterbahn one time for a pentecostal girl with no boobs in a one piece swimsuit but I digress. The next day we floated the Guadalupe River and exposed the kids to a little Texas "culture" a.k.a. drunk people blasting out songs such as "Those Oklahoma Boys Roll their Joints All Wrong" out of a cooler that is also a radio.

All in all, we had a great vacation. Davy Crockett couldn't have said it better: "You may all go to Hell, I'm going to TEXAS!"