10 months ago, I could have never imagined that I would willingly whip out my boob out in public or that my main source of daily adult contact would be Kathy Lee Gifford & Hoda Kotb from the Today show and Ellen at 3 pm. 10 months ago, if you told me I would be walking around 15 pounds over my ideal weight with an ice pack on my hoo-ha while feeling blissfully happy, I would have said you were crazy. But the craziest of them all is falling head over heels, completely in love with a little person all within a single moment.
On March 12, 2012 at 12:00 pm, I fell in love with Reese Evelyn Gardner. After two and a half days of labor, I pushed for 45 minutes and out came our precious miracle. She, of course, was the most beautiful baby Mark and I had ever seen. I spent two nights with the best nursing staff in the world, best hospital food I had ever taken and just when I was getting quite comfortable, they kicked me out and I quickly and fearfully realized I not only would have to go back to wiping my own ass, but I was now responsible for the survival of this tiny 6 lb baby. Mark and I just stood staring at each other when we were released thinking--were they REALLY going to let us just walk out of here with this baby?? The answer, was yes. And home we went. Mark drove 15 miles under the speed limit the entire way home.
Thankfully we had my mother.....and the Internet. Without my mother, I'm not sure how I would have survived those first days at home. She was there with me the night my milk came in. My already rather large breast, swelled up to a size that would make Pamela Anderson jealous thus making it extremely hard for Reese to "attach". My mom would patiently move my boob or Reese in to alternating positions in an attempt for one of them to work as Reese and I both screamed and cried and shot milk everywhere. After two weeks she left and I stood in the driveway waving goodbye thinking, "okay, now I'm really screwed". My home was no longer going to be spotless, the laundry was going to pile up and meals were no longer going to be ready and waiting, hot and delicious.
Somehow, through God's grace and my husband's encouragement, I've gotten into a groove for the most part. Reese is a month old today and I'm still having my crazy first time mom moments from time to time. The Internet has proven itself a foe of mine as it freaks me out about SIDS, and the flu and baby poop color. My poor child has had a rectal thermometer used on her more than any one human being should have to endure. Never the less, Reese and mommy are surviving and thriving.
My little one is spectacular!
Mark and I just sit around and look at her. She'll make a face and I'll say..."she looks just like you". Then she'll make another face and he'll say, "No, she looks like YOU!". And I say "Thank God!".
This morning I got teary when I realized how quick this first month has gone. Her newborn onsie is starting to get a little snug and I just want her to be little forever. It's going to go by too fast I know it, but I'm going to cherish each and every moment. Even the ones where I have a giant milk stain on my shirt and baby spit up in my hair. Life has never been so good.